JULY: Being Intentional & Aware

I've been thinking a lot lately about goals and dreams and the path that I'm on. Who am I? Who do I want to be? Who does God want me to be? Do those two desire match?

Many times this year I have repeated the phrase, "the first step to holiness is self-awareness." And what is incredible about self-awareness is that it is a never ending cycle. We can always learn something new, something more about ourselves.

Lately, I haven't been so great about being self aware. Actually, on a large scale of my whole life I haven't been all that self aware. As I'm entering my 3rd of FOCUS, my 3rd year out of college, I'm curious about who I have become, and what my habits say about me. I want to be on an intentional path that seeks The Lord and his will for my life. 

So this month, I'm focusing on self awareness by just tracking myself. I just got a FitBit Flex and I'm super obsessed with it, but it's been fascinating to know now many steps I take on an average day. It also motivates me to track what I eat, how frequently I exercise, how much water I drink, and how well I sleep. It also has silent alarms, so I've bee able to set a reminder for prayer and Mass times so I don't accidentally miss it. In prayer, I've been intentional about meditating on themes that have come up, and taking note of them. I will be adding in a daily Examen to be intentional in noticing my struggles, moods, and successes. I've also been tracking my spending and saving, just to see where my habits are.

I'm not looking to make any changes (yet), and I know that these habits don't necessarily define who I am, but I think they will give me a good indicator of how healthy I am, and I how I feel during certain things. Hopefully, at the end of the month I will know where I am thriving and where I might need to make a change or two.

One of my favorite parts of the Examen Prayer is when you ask God for the light to see yourself as you truly are and as He sees you. So that's what I'm doing in this season, asking for the light to see myself as I truly am, in all aspects of my life.

Also, of you've noticed a lack of pictures, it's because my laptop broke (wah wah), so I'm working on replacing it/figuring out what I want to do for a computer. 

MAY in Review

May has come and May has gone, thank you Jesus.

I'm glad this month is over. It's been a long, stressful, and lonely one. Summer Training has finally started, and we are entering into a new season in FOCUS and in my life.

So, how'd I do on that May goal of cleaning my room, you ask?

Well...uh...it was clean...ish...

And then I had to pack for a weekend and empty out my car in one hour and pack for a month at Ave Maria. #excuses 

So...it's not clean.

It's clean, ish. Clean enough that I won't hate myself when I get back to Colorado after NST with the cat in tow.

So....here's to keeping my room with Cait at Ave clean? Dangit.

May Goal: GET MY ROOM CLEAN

Remember how I moved in the middle of February? Time to be honest: my room still looks like this: 

I can't believe I'm posting this on the internet. *shudder*

It's awful. I hate it. But I somehow can't seem to find the motivation to clean it. 

So here's where you come in, internet! Hopefully posting my shameful, messy room for all of you to see will help me accomplish my May Goal. 

This month, I don't have habitual goals - I have one goal. My room will be clean by May 29. No questions asked. Oh, and that includes getting the things that are still in my car inside the house and putting them away.

I head down to Florida for four weeks on May 30, and the only thing worse than being in Florida for four weeks would be coming back to this hot mess of a room. 

So, here's to May and finally getting my room cleaned.

Hey, Michelle! If you get your room cleaned sooner rather than later, you can probably go to Ikea and buy those cute organizational things you want for your room. #motivation.

APRIL In Review

April has come and April has gone. Historically, April has been my least favorite month. There are lot's of reasons for that, but April 2014 was actually pretty great. I traveled a bit, got to see a lot of friends, and explored Denver some more with some great people. 

Also, I was intentionally creative and pretty much rocked all my goals. They were so life giving, which is why they were so fun. The only week I didn't quite succeed at them was the week I traveled, but it's kind of hard to bring your ukulele to 10 cities on a work trip. So I think that's okay.

1. Play the ukulele three times a week for a half an hour.
• Nailed it. Songs I learned to play from memory: Kiss the Girl, I'm a Believer, Cups from Pitch Perfect, Stay by T. Swift, and I'm currently working on Wagon Wheel. One of the committee heads for Summer Training plays the Ukulele, so I'm excited to play with her this summer!
2. Sit down two times a week for at least an hour and write.
• Success! And this was probably my favorite of the three goals. I loved adding this practice into my life. I got to check out a few fun coffee shops, and I felt a lot of freedom in my writing. Instead of frantically scrambling to get the words out of my head and onto the page (internet), I was able to jot down notes and really spend time with some of my ideas. I definitely want to keep doing this. 
3. Create something beautiful once a week. An image for this blog. A song. A craft for my wall. A card for a friend. A friendship bracelet. Just something.
• Semi-success? I was able to finish my scarf for #scarvesforthehomeless, I made some cool stuff for this blog, and some cute stationary/envelopes for friends. The main reason I sent this goal is because I've been wanting to make this craft for my room, but I didn't end up getting a chance to do it.

I have the map AND the paint! I just need to do it.
image via.

April, if you could continue to be so great for the rest of time, I'd really be okay with that.

April Goals: Create More

Every week when I make my schedule, I always try to work in time to write. And even when it makes it onto the calendar, it is one of the first things that I am willing to move around. Which usually  means I don't end up doing it.

Do I need to write to successfully do my job and get through life? No. But writing gives me life, it energizes me, it helps me process information, and it allows me to become more self aware. I think these are pretty important things. So in April, one of the main things I want to do is write more. Maybe I won't be writing publishable things, but I want to dedicate time each week to sit down and write.

I have also really enjoyed playing my ukulele. I'm still pretty bad, but that's what practice is for, right? Playing the ukulele gives me a chance to sing, and puts creating music back in my life.

As I was reflecting on these things, I realized I just miss time to create. So with that in mind, I set 3 Goals for April to help me create:

1. Play the ukulele three times a week for a half an hour.
   
2. Sit down two times a week for at least an hour and write.
   
3. Create something beautiful once a week. An image for this blog. A song. A craft for my wall. A card for a friend. A friendship bracelet. Just something.

Here's to investing in myself, my spiritual gifts, and hobbies that give me life. 

MARCH In Review: How I failed a lot

This month, I wanted to focus on my relationship with Jesus. So I set all of my goals around this feat. 

1. Committing to my holy half hour. Like getting there right at 10:30 and not leaving until 11:00.

• I actually did this! But prayer was still hard. However, I'm trying to remember that half of the battle is showing up. So it's a start.

2. Making 3 additional visits to the Blessed Sacrament each week. 

• Fail.

3. Making it to daily Mass 4/5 days of the week. I mean, we have a chapel with daily Mass in our office. I have no reason not to go as often as my work schedule allows it!

• Fail. I went to Mass, but not 4/5 times per week. I'm still working on getting out of the habit of working through Mass. 

4. Getting in the habit of practicing the presence of God.

• Semi-success. I love this practice, but it hard to do. I'm definitely working on making it a habit and I practice Jesus' presence whenever I remember. So...I'm working on it.

I didn't really want to write this post because I did not do well with my goals or doing my part in growing my relationship with Jesus. I honestly slacked off this month. Which is dumb for a lot of reasons. But I want to be honest and practice vulnerability because I think that is something we all could be a little better at. 

Sometimes, I read other people's blogs and get discouraged because they are so holy/funny/creative/perfect. And I realize that these people aren't really perfect and aren't even really trying to portray themselves as perfect, but it's a way the devil can attack me. So I want to be honest with you and let you know that in no way, shape, or form am I perfect or really, really holy. This month, I sucked at praying and being Catholic. And while maybe it's not okay or ideal, I am in a place where I am aware of my shortcomings and can turn to Christ for his mercy and help to move forward. I think that is a good place to start moving forward.

So by the grace of God, I plan to pick myself up and recommit to my prayer life. Jesus, give me the grace to respond to your love in my life.

March: MORE JESUS.

Welcome to March! Oh my gosh, it's MARCH. March is the best month:

1. Spring break
2. St. Patrick's Day
3. MY BIRTHDAY
4. St. Joseph's Day
5. Spring is just around the corner
6. There was always a cute little lamb to symbolize March for kids and lambs are just so cute!

Goal setting was kind of weird for this month, since lent starts in 4 days. But I went back to my mantra and focused on what I wanted to do to make this a reality in March, regardless of the fact that lent was just around the corner.

If I'm being honest with myself, the "more Jesus" portion of this theme went away for awhile. It wasn't intentional - and that's 100% the problem. If I'm not intentional with my time for God, then it stops being a priority for me. I always want Jesus to be my first priority. 

image via.

So March is all about more Jesus. In every moment of every day. Specifically,

1. Committing to my holy half hour. Like getting there right at 10:30 and not leaving until 11:00.

2. Making 3 additional visits to the Blessed Sacrament each week. 

3. Making it to daily Mass 4/5 days of the week. I mean, we have a chapel with daily Mass in our office. I have no reason not to go as often as my work schedule allows it!

4. Getting in the habit of practicing the presence of God.

These goals are habits that I have slacked off on recently. I don't want to slack, I don't want to let Jesus to become an after thought. So in March, I'm focusing on more of Jesus, just in time for lent.

Tell me, what are your goals for March?

February In Review

I set some pretty specific goals that had to do with budgeting this month. I even made this fancy image:

Which came first: the image or the goals? We may never know.

Let's talk about how I did:

1. Actually read Dave Ramsey's book. 

• Fail. Didn't do this. But I did sit through a very long heated debate on my way to Asheville about Dave Ramsey and his methods. So that kind of counts, right? No? Shoot...

2. Read one of my fundraising books before I go home to fundraise.

• Again...fail.

3. DEAL IN CASH. 

• Semi success? I did this for 2 weeks and then I stopped and then I did it again this last week. 3/4. I stopped mainly because I don't have a bank in Colorado and getting cash is hard. Those weeks I did have cash, I stuck to my quasi-budget, which is good!

4. Do a budget analysis.

• nailedit. I feel like I have a pretty decent idea of where all my money goes. I'm overall pretty happy with it, but now I've identified areas that I can cut back and put that money towards some of my financial goals! Hooray, being informed!

5. Set some financial goals.

• naileditagain. This one was really fun. When Emily visited at the beginning of the month, we talked about taking a trip together in a year or two. So I spent some time with that goal, which was fun to start dreaming up. Unfortunately, the rest of my goals looked pretty much like, "save money," "don't go into debt," and "don't spend all your money on things you don't need" because I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. 

Moving forward...I definitely want to keep moving on some of these. Like reading Dave Ramesy's book and dealing in cash and making progress on my financial goals. I think the main big next step is to set a budget and stick to it. Doing this will allow me to implement some of these goals that I want to turn into habits. 

Some February highlights:

• Emily's visit
• The Smokies Greek Getaway
• My dating fast post
• Speaking at my parish about FOCUS
• Working from home this week
• Cinderella, the ballet
• Visiting Tommy at KU

Cheers, friends. March is my birthday month, so it's about to get real.

7x7: Writing

7 posts in 7 days. Woof. I signed up on Jen's blog and now I'm telling you all about it, so that means I have to do it...right? Right.

I actually am really excited about this and I want to do it. Ever since I've implemented this 6-step planning process in my life, one of my main roles each week is a writer. And a goal for the past 3 weeks has been to find writing exercises and do them three times a week. And...I have not done that yet. So this 7x7 project is going to be my writing exercises for the week. Thanks for bearing with me.

Of course, now that I've committed to doing this, I can't think of anything to write. Recently, someone told me that writer's block is not a real thing. That only writing when you feel intensely inspired is laziness and we stifle our creativity when we do this. A little intense, yes, but also motivating. I've been in the place where I only write when an incredible idea comes to me...and that just leads to disconnected and incomplete pieces. I don't want to live in a place of perfectionism and inconsistency. No, I want to be a writer who pushes through and makes her work a priority. I want to write when the writing is hard and bad so I can improve it and grow. So this week, I'm focusing on my writing goals.

I actually have a lot of writing goals

• Make a facebook page
• Figure out a layout/branding I actually like
• Set readership goals
• Dedicate some time to writing each week instead of just doing it sporadically

...but I'm really good at brainstorming goals and not actually following through. I feel like I've been saying that a lot lately....hmm. Maybe I should figure out how to work on that.

Anyways, that's going to be all for today. Thanks for reading, and coming a long for this 7x7 journey. Thank you for giving me an outlet to grow as a writer and have fun along the way. Hopefully, we can create something amazing together this week.

February Goals: All about budgeting

When I started thinking about how I can continue to keep living out this More Jesus, Less Stuff mantra in February, the only thing I could think of was money. What the heck, that doesn't even make sense. This month I'm moving, headed to KC to do some fundraising, and working a lot on budgets at work. So maybe that's why all I could think of is money. Or maybe because February has president's day in it and there are presidents on dollars. Who knows.

Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty responsible with my money. I attribute that to my CPA parents and fundraising my salary - holla. But....I'm also super impulsive and as much as I love planning and lists, I am no bueno at it with money and budgeting. 

Ever heard of Dave Ramsey? He's all the rage in FOCUS. Basically, he's all about how to handle your money in a responsible, Christian manner. I pretty much just want to know where I am spending my money. AND, I'm starting to be a responsible adult who sets long term goals instead of just being all whimsey through life, so betting attentive to my money is probably a smart choice. I hope this month will be all about setting foundations for these money habits.

SO HERE ARE THE GOALS.

1. Actually read Dave Ramsey's book. 

2. Read one of my fundraising books before I go home to fundraise.

3. DEAL IN CASH. Like Dave Ramsey says! I think this is the biggest thing that I want to do this month. Hopefully I can post more on this after I read the book.

4. Do a budget analysis. AKA go through my spending the past few months and try to see where I can cut out spending.

5. Set some financial goals. Like a real adult! Emily and I talked about going on a trip sometime soon...but I can't go on a trip if I don't save and plan for it!

So...yeah. Weird that they're all themed. We'll see how this goes. What do you guys do to help you budget and keep track of your expenses?!

a toast to the new year

I've always been bad at resolutions. And goals. Which is silly, because I love goals. I've probably talked about this before. I get so idealistic, but I just lack follow through. Lame, I know. But I think it's because I typically lack a vision or a foundation for why I want to do all these things.

When I started brainstorming all the resolutions I could have for 2014, I came up with a million different ideas: read the whole Bible, live simply, work out more, cook and eat healthy, write more, less media, etc. my list went on and on. 

I took all these different ideals to prayer and a theme arose:

More Jesus, less stuff. 

The heart of all of these goals, all the things I desire, all the things I want to do, and the person I want to be is this:

More Jesus, less stuff. 

So that's my mantra for 2014. More Jesus, less stuff. I want to quit neglecting my relationship with Jesus. I want it to be the richest and most important part of each day. I want freedom to respond to the desires he places on my heart by creating space for Him. I want to simply, and fill my soul with Him and His people. 

More Jesus, less stuff. 

I love You, Jesus. Keep me close to you. 

3 Goals for December

Oh my goodness, it is December!

SLS registration closes tomorrow, the summit is in one month, and we are at the very beginning of a new liturgical year. As I look forward to this month, I see a lot of busyness and anticipation. Which is fitting, because advent is all about anticipating the coming of Christ. 

Advent is a time to renew ourselves and our friendship with Jesus. This advent, I want to focus on renewing my daily commitment to prayer and ways to overcome excess and selfishness. I want to focus on moderation and look for ways to serve those less fortunate than you.

Here's how I plan to accomplish all of that!

1. Weekly Planning

I am pretty good at time management...when I put an effort into it. With this being the last month before the summit, I know life is going to get a bit hectic. Example: it is Sunday morning and I am responding to emails sent to the summit address. I know I will be giving extra time and energy to work this month, and that's okay! I'm actually excited about it (I wouldn't be in this type of job if I didn't love it)! 

However, I tend to go all in and I can see myself becoming 100% consumed with work. So I want to be intentional about planning my weeks and sticking to that plan. With this comes making time for prayer (it is so easy not to go to mass or prayer while I'm at the office because there's just so much to do)! As I prepare for the coming of Christmas, I want to be free to say "yes" to God, just as Mary did. I know that God has called me to a very busy state of life right now, and in this month, freedom will flow out of structure. I am hoping that this yes to an extra structured month will come the time to live a full advent season. 

I'm really excited to get started on this because I've been trying to successfully implement method for a very long while now, but I've never buckled down and done it. My team has been reading 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and in that book, Stephen Covey talks about the different roles we have in our lives. Once these roles have been defined, our tasks become clear. I am excited to clarify my roles and plan productive weeks that allow me to achieve my work and personal life goals.

2. Moderation

The Holiday's can turn into a time of excess with all the food we eat and all the stuff we buy. This month, I want to focus on doing things in moderation. Whether that's eating, buying presents, or even watching TV or being on the internet. I am hoping this will naturally flow out of of my weekly planning and role clarification. 

3. Service to Others

I love that Pope Francis is so vocal about service to the poor. It is so easy for me to become consumed with myself, my life, and my needs. Yet there are so many others who have so little. I want to push myself out of my selfishness this advent and focus on finding Jesus in others. I want these acts of service to be of all sizes. My roommate was telling me that she is going to try to do a different corporal work of mercy each week - I think that's pretty cool. Maybe I will tag along for a few. 

Thanks for reading! What are your goals for December?