Monday, March 31, 2014

MARCH In Review: How I failed a lot

This month, I wanted to focus on my relationship with Jesus. So I set all of my goals around this feat. 

1. Committing to my holy half hour. Like getting there right at 10:30 and not leaving until 11:00.
  • I actually did this! But prayer was still hard. However, I'm trying to remember that half of the battle is showing up. So it's a start.
2. Making 3 additional visits to the Blessed Sacrament each week. 
  • Fail.
3. Making it to daily Mass 4/5 days of the week. I mean, we have a chapel with daily Mass in our office. I have no reason not to go as often as my work schedule allows it!
  • Fail. I went to Mass, but not 4/5 times per week. I'm still working on getting out of the habit of working through Mass. 
4. Getting in the habit of practicing the presence of God.
  • Semi-success. I love this practice, but it hard to do. I'm definitely working on making it a habit and I practice Jesus' presence whenever I remember. So...I'm working on it.

I didn't really want to write this post because I did not do well with my goals or doing my part in growing my relationship with Jesus. I honestly slacked off this month. Which is dumb for a lot of reasons. But I want to be honest and practice vulnerability because I think that is something we all could be a little better at. 

Sometimes, I read other people's blogs and get discouraged because they are so holy/funny/creative/perfect. And I realize that these people aren't really perfect and aren't even really trying to portray themselves as perfect, but it's a way the devil can attack me. So I want to be honest with you and let you know that in no way, shape, or form am I perfect or really, really holy. This month, I sucked at praying and being Catholic. And while maybe it's not okay or ideal, I am in a place where I am aware of my shortcomings and can turn to Christ for his mercy and help to move forward. I think that is a good place to start moving forward.

So by the grace of God, I plan to pick myself up and recommit to my prayer life. Jesus, give me the grace to respond to your love in my life.


  1. Beautiful words Michelle! I wan to recommend this book to you, The Sanctifier by Archbishop Luis Martinez.

    It is a very profound book and has helped me immensely in my spiritual life! Here is a quote that I would like to share with you from it:
    "The first things that souls aspiring to perfection should do is fix the ideal and discover the special designs of God in their regard. For this they need well instructed and well directed. But, above all, they need to be docile to the intimate directions of the Holy Spirit, who communicates himself to the simple and reveals his secretes to souls of good will."

    1. Grace, thank you for sharing this! I will definitely add it to my list. Love that quote too. :)