5 Reasons to Talk to Strangers

I went to ink! coffee with Holly & Cass two weekends ago to write and do lesson prep while they studied. First of all, I got a blended chocolate and banana espresso smoothie, so that was amazing. Second, while I was getting my coffee I became best friends with the barista. 

He asked why we were up to, so I told him. He told me he thinks it's so cool when people blog and that he's always wanted to start a blog focused on interviews, but never felt qualified to do it. I told him that was silly and he would start it anyways. He's in such a cool position to meet a bunch of people, working at a coffee shop. We talked a little more about dreams, and then I quoted Tangled at him and went to get working.

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I loved this little encounter and am so grateful for his willingness to chat. I am constantly amazed by how honoring others by talking to them or acknowledging them can turn your day around. Holly told me that last week she was walking home from school and when some random guy have her a high-five, it just made her day.

Events is reading The Hidden Power of Kindness by Fr. Lawrence G. Lovasik.

Approximately every sentence he writes jumps out at me and kicks me in the pants, but this really struck a chord with me:

"Greet people enthusiastically and sincerely. A man's name is to him the most important sound in his language."

Seems simple, right? But I think my mouth dropped all the way to the floor and I started banging my head against my desk when I read this. How many times to I walk by another human, even at work, and fail to acknowledge them? 

Christine had us pick one thing from chapter one that we were going to work on for the next week. Greeting people was my personal challenge. Guys, it was embarrassingly hard. Even in a place where our main goal is relationships, we too can shy away from greeting one another. But, I persevered in my challenge and I'm glad I did.

After many awkward and failed encounters, and a few pretty great ones, here are

5 Reasons To Talk To Strangers:

1. It's actually not that scary. Seriously. You can smile. So what if you feel awkward? Actually, why do I feel awkward when I greet someone I don't know?? I know it can brighten my day when someone says hello & says my name. Why can't I do that for other people?

2. You honor & acknowledge the other person's dignity & worth. Guess what? I'm not the center of the universe. And neither are you. There are billions of other people out there with value and a story to tell. You just have to ask them.

3. It leads to great conversations with people you wouldn't expect. Exhibit A: Ink! Coffee Barisita, my new bestie. You'd be surprised how a simple "hello, how is your day?" can lead to deep, meaningful conversation.

4. It's a way to step outside of yourself. I used this quote when I wrote about loneliness and stepping outside of ourselves to fight that struggle, but I think it applies just as much here.

5. It increases your capacity to love. To love is to will the good of another. So if we know making connections and saying hello does the other good, we can love them by doing this. We also increase our capacity to love when we think of the other person's need first.

So carry on, my friends. And tell me, when was a time you had a good experience talking to a stranger?

3 Things To Do When You're Feeling Lonely

OK, real talk: sometimes, being a 20-something sucks.

Being a real adult can be pretty. I know that I am not alone - Jesus is with me, I have friends all over the country, and I know I am blessed with many people who love and care about me. But sometimes I just feel lonely, you know?

When I get stuck in these ruts, I want to curl up in my bed, watch endless hours of Netflix, eat Cherry Garcia FroYo from Ben & Jerry's, and sometimes just cry for no reason. The last thing I want to do is be around people - it just takes so much effort.

Yet wallowing in this doesn't accomplish anything. So instead of quitting everything I am involved in so I can watch every television show ever made, I try to fight the loneliness by getting out of my comfort zone.

How I tackle the days I feel lonely can be summed up in these four words from Papa F:

Step Outside of Yourself.

These words are big and bold on my bathroom mirror, so I have to see them multiple times a day. When I'm feeling alone, I am believing a lie that I am not valuable, unloved, and a burden to others. Stepping outside of myself immediately cuts through these lies and allows me to glimpse the version of myself who God is asking me to be.

The three main ways I step outside of myself are in my mission, in my community, and by practicing gratitude.

In Mission:

There is no better way to be grateful for who you are and what you have by serving others. Go to a soup kitchen. Buy the homeless man on the street lunch. Teach someone something. Get involved in a ministry that occurs fairly often to help you get into the habit of serving.

For me, it helps to turn my attention to my relational ministries. Once I start day dreaming about the things I would love to do with my high school girls, I get caught up in the excitement and immediately start making plans. Suddenly I seem to forget my emotional state of loneliness because I want to be there for these girls and show them that they are not alone. 

In Community:

This one is a little harder, because it involves directly addressing the wound I am feeling. But the best way to fight loneliness is to reach out to someone else. Who knows, maybe you will have reached out to them at the perfect time. Write a letter. Call a friend who lives far away. Make plans to grab coffee or ice cream with someone. I don't care if you were the one who initiated hanging out/talking last - kill your pride and offer love to a friend. The moment someone reaches back your belief that others do not care no longer exists. Pour into them, ask them good questions about their lives. Investing in another human pulls you out of yourself and helps you love yourself better.

Practicing Gratitude:

"Everything sucks and no one likes me." Unfortunately, these words have come out of my mouth plenty of times. Now, I try to sit down at least once a week and write out a list of what I'm grateful for. I don't put a limit, but I try to get to at least ten things. Even if they are simple, like "I'm grateful I can drive myself to work every day," or if they seem silly, like "I'm grateful Lovesick came onto my iPod this morning," write them down and remember the gratitude. Sit with these things, and really allow yourself to be thankful. This can help us force perspective, and can help us focus on what we do have instead of what we think we do not.

So the next time you're feeling lonely or unwanted or unvalued, I challenge you (and myself) to try to remember to step outside of yourself and do one of these things. 

BONUS POINTS if you engage in some mission with other people and then are grateful for it later.

P.S. Tried stuff like this and nothing seems to help? Don't hide and don't be ashamed. There's a difference between occasionally being down and lonely and being depressed. Check out this website to find a Catholic therapist near you. Remember, no matter what, you are loved, you are important, and it is okay to need a little help.

March: MORE JESUS.

Welcome to March! Oh my gosh, it's MARCH. March is the best month:

1. Spring break
2. St. Patrick's Day
3. MY BIRTHDAY
4. St. Joseph's Day
5. Spring is just around the corner
6. There was always a cute little lamb to symbolize March for kids and lambs are just so cute!

Goal setting was kind of weird for this month, since lent starts in 4 days. But I went back to my mantra and focused on what I wanted to do to make this a reality in March, regardless of the fact that lent was just around the corner.

If I'm being honest with myself, the "more Jesus" portion of this theme went away for awhile. It wasn't intentional - and that's 100% the problem. If I'm not intentional with my time for God, then it stops being a priority for me. I always want Jesus to be my first priority. 

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So March is all about more Jesus. In every moment of every day. Specifically,

1. Committing to my holy half hour. Like getting there right at 10:30 and not leaving until 11:00.

2. Making 3 additional visits to the Blessed Sacrament each week. 

3. Making it to daily Mass 4/5 days of the week. I mean, we have a chapel with daily Mass in our office. I have no reason not to go as often as my work schedule allows it!

4. Getting in the habit of practicing the presence of God.

These goals are habits that I have slacked off on recently. I don't want to slack, I don't want to let Jesus to become an after thought. So in March, I'm focusing on more of Jesus, just in time for lent.

Tell me, what are your goals for March?

3 Goals for December

Oh my goodness, it is December!

SLS registration closes tomorrow, the summit is in one month, and we are at the very beginning of a new liturgical year. As I look forward to this month, I see a lot of busyness and anticipation. Which is fitting, because advent is all about anticipating the coming of Christ. 

Advent is a time to renew ourselves and our friendship with Jesus. This advent, I want to focus on renewing my daily commitment to prayer and ways to overcome excess and selfishness. I want to focus on moderation and look for ways to serve those less fortunate than you.

Here's how I plan to accomplish all of that!

1. Weekly Planning

I am pretty good at time management...when I put an effort into it. With this being the last month before the summit, I know life is going to get a bit hectic. Example: it is Sunday morning and I am responding to emails sent to the summit address. I know I will be giving extra time and energy to work this month, and that's okay! I'm actually excited about it (I wouldn't be in this type of job if I didn't love it)! 

However, I tend to go all in and I can see myself becoming 100% consumed with work. So I want to be intentional about planning my weeks and sticking to that plan. With this comes making time for prayer (it is so easy not to go to mass or prayer while I'm at the office because there's just so much to do)! As I prepare for the coming of Christmas, I want to be free to say "yes" to God, just as Mary did. I know that God has called me to a very busy state of life right now, and in this month, freedom will flow out of structure. I am hoping that this yes to an extra structured month will come the time to live a full advent season. 

I'm really excited to get started on this because I've been trying to successfully implement method for a very long while now, but I've never buckled down and done it. My team has been reading 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and in that book, Stephen Covey talks about the different roles we have in our lives. Once these roles have been defined, our tasks become clear. I am excited to clarify my roles and plan productive weeks that allow me to achieve my work and personal life goals.

2. Moderation

The Holiday's can turn into a time of excess with all the food we eat and all the stuff we buy. This month, I want to focus on doing things in moderation. Whether that's eating, buying presents, or even watching TV or being on the internet. I am hoping this will naturally flow out of of my weekly planning and role clarification. 

3. Service to Others

I love that Pope Francis is so vocal about service to the poor. It is so easy for me to become consumed with myself, my life, and my needs. Yet there are so many others who have so little. I want to push myself out of my selfishness this advent and focus on finding Jesus in others. I want these acts of service to be of all sizes. My roommate was telling me that she is going to try to do a different corporal work of mercy each week - I think that's pretty cool. Maybe I will tag along for a few. 

Thanks for reading! What are your goals for December?

Pope Francis' First Apostolic Exhortation

It's crunch time here at the FOCUS Events Office. SLS registration ends ONE WEEK FROM TODAY! So things are getting crazy up here in the mountains.

In the meantime, pop on over to the FOCUS Blog & check out Pope Francis' first apostolic exhortation! I will be reading this on my plane ride to KC tomorrow. Look for some of my reflections later in the week!



Pray for our team over the holiday as we wrap of SLS registration!

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How to Pray Like Pope Francis: The examen prayer

When you enter a religious community, you commit to saying certain prayers every day. For the Jesuits, one of those prayers is the Examen Prayer. They pray it twice a day - once at noon and once at the end of the day. And sine Papa F is an every day Jesuit, we know that he prays the examen each day!

Lucky for us, the examen is a very simple prayer. It is all about reflecting on our lives and looking back through our day to see where God was. It teaches us to be more present to God in our every day lives, and it helps us grow in self awareness. Since I started praying an (almost) daily examen, I have had an incredible gift of clarity of how God is working in my life.

St. Ignatius, the founder of the Jesuits, thought the examen was so important that he said if you could only pray one type of prayer in your whole day, this would be it. The examen is a gift of self-awareness, and self-awareness is one of the two basic foundations we need to grow in holiness.

One last great thing about the examen prayer: it only takes about 5 minutes to pray! So go ahead, try it out!

How to Pray the Examen Prayer: Walking Around Your Day

1. Gratitude: I thank God

I tend to make this a litany: Thank You for coffee, the beautiful mountains, my hilarious team, my cat, my roommates, that nice text from my friend, etc.

A litany of thanks works, or you could find a few things and go into greater detail as to why you're thankful for those things. This method of gratitude inclines our hearts towards God and allows us to see why we are grateful for things. This is the one I choose when I'm not being super lazy.

2. Ask For Light: For the grace to see myself as God sees me

Here I simply ask God for the grace to see myself as I truly am; to see myself as His beloved daughter.

3. Look for God in my life: Lord, where have I been for you? What did I do for love? This can be done in feelings or re-experiencing events.

Where did I experience love? When did I choose to love when I could have chosen to be selfish? When did I speak up for Jesus? When was I aware of God during this day?

4. Contrition: Honestly facing what's wrong

Where did I choose selfishness? Where did I ignore God? Where could I have handled a confrontation better? How could I have been more present to The Lord?

5. Resolve: Determine what to do now

After seeing what went well and what didn't go so well, I take a few minutes to talk to Jesus and ask Him what I can do tomorrow to be closer to Him. Sometimes it's as simple as just keep on keepin' on, while other times I make a very concrete resolution on something to do or not to do.

6. Look to the Next Day: Pray through the next 24 hours

I pull out my iPhone, open my calendar app, and pray through all of my meetings and my appointments for that day. I ask God to be with me and ask Him to bless all that is on my plate for the next day.

7. Close: With a Hail Mary or an Our Father

I typically close with Night Prayer, unless it's really late.

So tonight, take five minutes and ask Jesus to walk through your day with you. You'll be joining the ranks of St. Ignatius, St. Francis Xavier, and Pope Francis if you do.

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The Immaculate Heart of Mary

Pope Francis has announced that he will consecrate the world to the Immaculate Heart of Mary. You may be asking, what does that even mean!? Here are the basics:

1. Honor. I think a lot of people confuse devotion to Mary and the saints to that of worship. Turning to Mary is simply about honoring her as a model in the faith. Think of someone in your life who you look up to and who helps you out. Don't you want to honor that person and thank them for being your friend!? Mary is that person for me. Her abandonment of self and love of Jesus inspires and challenges me to be a better Catholic woman. Consecration, at it's base, is about honoring Mary. And think about it, aren't we honoring God when we honor the people He has created?

2. A sword will pierce your heart

"Then Simeon blessed them and said to His mother Mary, "This child is destined for the rising and falling of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be opposed so that the inner thoughts of many may be revealed - and a sword will pierce your own heart too." Luke 2:34-35

God told Mary through a prophet that a sword will pierce her heart so that our thoughts may be revealed.  If our God is a God who keeps his promises (which, isn't that what the canticle of Simeon is all about!?), then shouldn't we believe Mary's heart has been pierced so that our hearts may be revealed!? This leads me into point three...

3. To Jesus, through Mary. Jesus spent 30 years at home, intimately living the ins and out of daily life with Mary. She knows Him better than any other person. Because she was 100% without sin, she is able to perfectly desire everything that Jesus desires. And that is our happiness and that we may know her son. So any honor, praise, or prayer request she receives goes to her and she brings it straight to her son. You might be thinking, yeah, okay, but why do I need a third party? Well, aren't you more likely to listen if your mom asks you to do something!? Many saints have said that the surest way to Jesus is through His mother. Above all, Mary desires that we are united with her Son in the way that He wants us to be.

Consecrating the world to the Immaculate Heart of Mary is just a way of Pope Francis asking Mary to keep praying for us, honoring her, and helping us go straight to Jesus.

Want to pray along with Pope Francis? Sign up here to receive emails with prayers each day. The novena starts Friday!