MORE.

Over and over again, Shauna Niequist nails it. This time, it was her post Less. Do yourself a favorite and go read it, immediately.

Did you read it?

Good. Glad you're back.

What I love about Shauna Niequiest and her writing is in the most eloquent, yet simple way, she speaks words that are vulnerable, beautiful, and exactly what I need to hear. 

My theme this year has been More Jesus, Less Stuff. And as we enter the halfway point of June, I think it's time to evaluate my progress.

I gave up TV for lent because I wanted more space for community and for Jesus. Instead what I allowed to creep in that space was a gaping loneliness, that left me lying in bed alone, fighting back tears of isolation while I was with other people, and a lingering sadness that would hiss lies in my ear about being unloved and uncared for. 

I am used to a full life. In college, I scheduled myself 24-hours a day with class, activities, events to plan, people to see, and meetings (on meetings on meetings) to attend. As a missionary, I ran around conforming my schedule to be present in the lives of 8+ women on a weekly basis, and trying to have a fulfilling team life with relationships with 9 other missionaries and their families. 

And now, when I am living in the wake of "less stuff," I see how this emptiness and dark can be unbearable. It seems that I have run full speed ahead with "Less Stuff," but have forgotten to fill it with "More Jesus."

And somehow, in the midst of all this, I remember a phrase that has stuck with me since Christine shared it on our 11PM drive from Ft. Myers to Ave Maria whilst taking a Divergent Factions Placement quiz (in case you are wondering, I am Amity & Christine is DIVERGENT!!!): Everything is God's Mercy. 

I believe that everything is within God's will. Yet somewhere along the road the connotation of that phrase was twisted in my heart to picture an angry, heartless God forcing me to feel miserable for a little bit because it pleased Him. The idea of God's will being a part of His Divine Mercy somehow sits better with my heart. 

Mercy allows me to see the other things He is protecting me from. Mercy allows me to see Him constantly calling out to me, doing everything He can to keep me on the path that leads to Him. Mercy inspires me to crawl out of the confessional, dust myself off, and to start again.

As I am remembering that everything is God's Mercy, and that I need to focus more on putting "More Jesus" into my life, I am already down here at FOCUS Summer Training for a full month where I am being presented with the opportunity to choose "More Jesus" at every moment. Whether that's attending prayer and scripture classes in my spare time, choosing kindness in my meetings and management style, or choosing daily Mass & prayer, the opportunities for "More Jesus" are readily available. Everything is God's Mercy. He knows what He's doing. 

Never would I have chosen a season of emptiness and loneliness, but because that has been my year, I now get to choose to return to Him in a way is real and relevant to our relationship. And who knows what's down the road - maybe this season of less will be a way my heart has been prepared to minister to others, or maybe it will propel me deeper into my relationship with Christ. 

So as Shauna continues along in her season of less, I will enter into a season of More (Jesus), all the while remembering every moment of my day is His Mercy.

March: MORE JESUS.

Welcome to March! Oh my gosh, it's MARCH. March is the best month:

1. Spring break
2. St. Patrick's Day
3. MY BIRTHDAY
4. St. Joseph's Day
5. Spring is just around the corner
6. There was always a cute little lamb to symbolize March for kids and lambs are just so cute!

Goal setting was kind of weird for this month, since lent starts in 4 days. But I went back to my mantra and focused on what I wanted to do to make this a reality in March, regardless of the fact that lent was just around the corner.

If I'm being honest with myself, the "more Jesus" portion of this theme went away for awhile. It wasn't intentional - and that's 100% the problem. If I'm not intentional with my time for God, then it stops being a priority for me. I always want Jesus to be my first priority. 

image via.

So March is all about more Jesus. In every moment of every day. Specifically,

1. Committing to my holy half hour. Like getting there right at 10:30 and not leaving until 11:00.

2. Making 3 additional visits to the Blessed Sacrament each week. 

3. Making it to daily Mass 4/5 days of the week. I mean, we have a chapel with daily Mass in our office. I have no reason not to go as often as my work schedule allows it!

4. Getting in the habit of practicing the presence of God.

These goals are habits that I have slacked off on recently. I don't want to slack, I don't want to let Jesus to become an after thought. So in March, I'm focusing on more of Jesus, just in time for lent.

Tell me, what are your goals for March?

February In Review

I set some pretty specific goals that had to do with budgeting this month. I even made this fancy image:

Which came first: the image or the goals? We may never know.

Let's talk about how I did:

1. Actually read Dave Ramsey's book. 

• Fail. Didn't do this. But I did sit through a very long heated debate on my way to Asheville about Dave Ramsey and his methods. So that kind of counts, right? No? Shoot...

2. Read one of my fundraising books before I go home to fundraise.

• Again...fail.

3. DEAL IN CASH. 

• Semi success? I did this for 2 weeks and then I stopped and then I did it again this last week. 3/4. I stopped mainly because I don't have a bank in Colorado and getting cash is hard. Those weeks I did have cash, I stuck to my quasi-budget, which is good!

4. Do a budget analysis.

• nailedit. I feel like I have a pretty decent idea of where all my money goes. I'm overall pretty happy with it, but now I've identified areas that I can cut back and put that money towards some of my financial goals! Hooray, being informed!

5. Set some financial goals.

• naileditagain. This one was really fun. When Emily visited at the beginning of the month, we talked about taking a trip together in a year or two. So I spent some time with that goal, which was fun to start dreaming up. Unfortunately, the rest of my goals looked pretty much like, "save money," "don't go into debt," and "don't spend all your money on things you don't need" because I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. 

Moving forward...I definitely want to keep moving on some of these. Like reading Dave Ramesy's book and dealing in cash and making progress on my financial goals. I think the main big next step is to set a budget and stick to it. Doing this will allow me to implement some of these goals that I want to turn into habits. 

Some February highlights:

• Emily's visit
• The Smokies Greek Getaway
• My dating fast post
• Speaking at my parish about FOCUS
• Working from home this week
• Cinderella, the ballet
• Visiting Tommy at KU

Cheers, friends. March is my birthday month, so it's about to get real.

More Jesus, Less Stuff: Community

The month before SLS I was struggling with my relationship with Jesus. Like, really struggling. So I sat down to look at my life when I got back from SLS. What is different from last year? Where have I elbowed Jesus out? 

The first thing that struck me: I am not having intentional relationships and conversations that focus on Jesus. Stuff gets in the way and I am struggling to focus on the Lord's presence in my everyday living and friendships. 

Step 1 is awareness. Done. Step 2 is action. 

It's not that I have a lack of a Catholic community, it's that I have allowed myself to become lukewarm. When I hang out with friends, we talk about whatever or fill the space with media. If Jesus comes up, I've turned Him into an abstract idea, not a real person who is there with us. I noticed this at SLS when I was talking to a friend and I became uncomfortable talking about Jesus. Hmmm, that's a problem.

I was hanging out with Elizabeth when I got back from SLS and suddenly felt the strong need to gather some women around food to talk about Jesus. I almost didn't bring it up, but praise God for making me receptive to His nudge.

Me: "So, this is going to sound weird, but that quiche in the display case really made me want to get people together for brunch like once a month to talk about Jesus and have community."

Elizabeth: "Ah! I'm so glad you said that! I was just talking about that with Mary the other day about how that's something we really need in our lives!"

Bam. Responding to the promptings of The Spirit and being intentional.

We planned a brunch two days later and 4 other women showed up. Pretty good for last minute. We ate, we laughed, we got to know each other, and then we whipped out Flannery. 

Later, I was talking to Megan and she told me she was so grateful for the brunch. It is cool to see how it's already bearing fruit in our lives and how simply responding to a weird urge to bake quiche for my friends grew into a way to bring us all closer to Jesus. Intentional living. It's happening, man.

So to continue this theme of community, I'm writing some letters this week and taking a few days off to be with visiting friends. I'm looking for some other ways to be intentional about my friendships. What are some ways that you are intentional?! I'd love to hear in the comments!

More Jesus, Less Stuff: Intentional Living

Now that life has calmed down a bit, I have had the chance to start looking at this mantra and what it should be about. The more I think about it, the more I realize it's all about being intentional. Jesus isn't going to force his way into my heart and he's not going to push out the other stuff I have in there. No, He will wait patiently for me to make room. So I must be intentional in seeking Him. 

Phase one is about realizing this is all about intentional living, recognizing the parts of my life that Jesus is absent from, and making room for him in those places. Intentional living that stems from self-knowledge.

In Interior Castle, St. Teresa of Avila outlines one path to holiness and union with God. In this path she tells us that the first step to knowing God is self-knowledge. It is one of the foundations for holiness. If we do not know ourselves, we cannot know God.

So this week I'm trying to take a step back to look at my life and see where I can create more space for Jesus. I think I've started to identify a few areas. Where in your life can you create more space for Jesus? I'd love to hear in the comments!