Mass in Spanish

I took three years of spanish in high school (well technically two - year one was in middle school), and I remember approximately 0.17503% of it. A little came floating back to me when I went to El Salvador for a week sophomore year of college, but it didn't last much longer than that. (Though I did think a girl said "I cheese you" instead of "I love you." Whatever "queso" & "quiero" sound the same.)

My mom, sister, and I were in Mexico on a Sunday, which meant venturing into town for Mass. I was really excited about this. I wanted to see where the people of Puerto Morales worshiped and how they engaged in the Mass. I was looking forward to what I love the most about the Catholic Church - the universality of it. No matter the language, the Mass is the same. Jesus is always present. 

They were kind enough to have the first and second readings in Spanish and English (which my sister and I somehow got roped into reading - worst), but that was it.

As the Mass continued, I tried to focus on the externals and the fact that even though I couldn't understand what they were saying, I knew that Jesus was truly present in that place, so it didn't matter that I didn't really know what they were saying.

In the middle of the Eucharistic Prayer I noticed that whenever the priest or congregation addressed Jesus in prayer, they used the word "tú" for you. A tiny amount of Spanish came floating back to me. Tú is the pronoun you use when you are talking to someone informally, like a friend or an equal. Usted is the pronoun you use when you are speaking to someone in a position of authority, someone you respect, or someone you don't know well.

When you pray in Spanish, you don't address Jesus as a formal, far off figure, you address him as a friend. How beautiful. 

In the midst of Holy Week, I am grateful for simple reminder that Jesus is my friend, someone who chooses to come down to my level, so I can speak to Him freely and without reserve.

Little Happies [2]

In the spirit of practicing gratitude, I am back this week with some little happies!

--one--

It's Holy Week, so obviously that's a happy! Michelle (my roommate) & I are going to try to get up early every morning to say morning prayer. Lent has been challenging for me, so I'm excited about this opportunity sprint to the finish line this week.

--two--

While it was nice to have a month long break from traveling, I am excited for what the week ahead holds. I'll be hitting up Kansas, Missouri, Nebraska, Tennessee, and Florida. I love the anticipation of seeing old teammates and students, fellow missionary friends, and spending a lot of time with my team. Hopefully I will return refreshed from Easter and even more excited for SEEK and NST!

--three--

Last week I read an entire trilogy in a few days. Whoops. Matched had beed on my list for awhile now, so I was really excited when I got the email that it was finally available for download onto my Kindle.

image via.

It was an easy read, but I wasn't the biggest fan of the main character Cassia. Probably because I would have picked her to be with a different guy, but whatever. It also really reminded me of the Delirium series.

What I did love was the love of words and poetry the characters have, how the author explored the different types of love, and how she showed that even the revolutions against oppressive systems can be corrupt. It was fun reading the books and escaping into the world of The Society for a bit. 

--four--

Speaking of reading, Megan & I have quasi started a long distance book club. It's really informal, we read a book and then text about it, but it has been really fun. I highly recommend it as a way to stay in touch with a friend and to keep yourself accountable to reading. BONUS: I get to see Megan this week since she lives in KC. 

--five--

I have been about to burst at the seems with passion for youth ministry these past two weeks. So I took sometime this weekend to pray specifically for my girls and set some goals for the summer. I am excited to talk with Megan about making some of these dreams a reality. 

Look at how much fun youth ministry (camp) is!!!

For more happies, check out Blessed to Be!

7QTs on Obscure Holidays, Painting, & Old Family Photos [22]

--- 1 ---

Last weekend I drove up to Ft. Collins to celebrate Shelby & Calvin! They are getting married in just about a month, so we had a Colorado Bachelorette party.

This is a hot mess. Everyone looks hilarious.

We went to a wine & paint night and it was SO FUN! Look at all of our trees! We're basically professionals. The most stressful part was getting started, but look how good of a job Ann did!!

Shelby & Calvin have been dating since I met them at UNL last year. They are both beautiful and joyful people who desire nothing more than to love Christ. I am so excited for them to unite in mission to continue to grow in holiness & to make Christ known!

 

--- 2 ---

Last night I got to babysit Soph while her parents went to their "Families of Character" group. We had so much fun at the park: slides, swings, "gotcha," pretend picnics, chasing bugs, and watching ducks.

She told all of my housemates many times how much fun she had all night, except right when her parents got home. About two minutes before they walked in the door, Sophie and I were laying down going to bed, and I was telling stories. When her Dad got home, she told him she was sad and that she cried. This was only because I had just told her (at 10:15 pm), that we could not get up and read another book. Ugh, kids.

--- 3 ---

Wednesday night I went to a gathering for the Drake Regional Alumni Board. The RAB (I love acronyms) plans and runs a few events a year and recruits other local alumni to attend. It was really great to be around other Drake grads. I was the youngest one there (worst) by a few years, and the oldest grad was my friend Kendall's dad.

My favorite part was recognizing that sure there is a typical Drake student, but there is also a typical overly involved Drake student (and that is 100% me). It was fun being around other Drake grads who have the same tendency to get involved in everything. It reminded me of my Panhellenic friends.

LOOK AT THESE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE.

I'm excited for this board (committee?) and to get to know other Denver Drake grads!

--- 4 ---

Next week I begin another cross-country traveling adventure. Kansas City, Lincoln, Omaha, Nashville, & Ave Maria, Florida are the one list. I'll also make connections in Chicago, Atlanta, Fort Myers, & Indianapolis. All we need is a quick flight to the west coast to really make it a cross country adventure.

--- 5 ---

Yesterday was national siblings day. Please enjoy this gem from my 4th grade birthday (what the heck is up with my hair):

and this other gem of Steph & me ringing in Y2K!

I love everything about this picture.

Speaking of Steph, she is on the Relay for Life committee at SLU & their Relay is tomorrow! I'm so proud of her - she has raised $802.67 for cancer research. My family is in St. Louis to attend the event (& I'm super jealous).

#crying

--- 6 ---

Speaking of obscure holidays, today is National Barbershop Quartet Day. We sang a lot of barbershop quartet in 7th and 8th grade. Goodtimes. Please enjoy this video in honor of this very important day:

--- 7 ---

A few times I've mentioned the St. Catherine of Sienna Spiritual Gifts Inventory. Yesterday. FOCUS brought in Sherry Weddell, the founder and author of Forming Intentional Disciples, to lead us through the workshop. It was amazing and so fun. My team took the inventory last year, but it was a whole other ball game to hear them all explained by Sherry with insight on how we can use our charisms to evangelize. I'm excited to take the next step and explore these gifts/charisms in more depth.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

3 Things To Do When You're Feeling Lonely

OK, real talk: sometimes, being a 20-something sucks.

Being a real adult can be pretty. I know that I am not alone - Jesus is with me, I have friends all over the country, and I know I am blessed with many people who love and care about me. But sometimes I just feel lonely, you know?

When I get stuck in these ruts, I want to curl up in my bed, watch endless hours of Netflix, eat Cherry Garcia FroYo from Ben & Jerry's, and sometimes just cry for no reason. The last thing I want to do is be around people - it just takes so much effort.

Yet wallowing in this doesn't accomplish anything. So instead of quitting everything I am involved in so I can watch every television show ever made, I try to fight the loneliness by getting out of my comfort zone.

How I tackle the days I feel lonely can be summed up in these four words from Papa F:

Step Outside of Yourself.

These words are big and bold on my bathroom mirror, so I have to see them multiple times a day. When I'm feeling alone, I am believing a lie that I am not valuable, unloved, and a burden to others. Stepping outside of myself immediately cuts through these lies and allows me to glimpse the version of myself who God is asking me to be.

The three main ways I step outside of myself are in my mission, in my community, and by practicing gratitude.

In Mission:

There is no better way to be grateful for who you are and what you have by serving others. Go to a soup kitchen. Buy the homeless man on the street lunch. Teach someone something. Get involved in a ministry that occurs fairly often to help you get into the habit of serving.

For me, it helps to turn my attention to my relational ministries. Once I start day dreaming about the things I would love to do with my high school girls, I get caught up in the excitement and immediately start making plans. Suddenly I seem to forget my emotional state of loneliness because I want to be there for these girls and show them that they are not alone. 

In Community:

This one is a little harder, because it involves directly addressing the wound I am feeling. But the best way to fight loneliness is to reach out to someone else. Who knows, maybe you will have reached out to them at the perfect time. Write a letter. Call a friend who lives far away. Make plans to grab coffee or ice cream with someone. I don't care if you were the one who initiated hanging out/talking last - kill your pride and offer love to a friend. The moment someone reaches back your belief that others do not care no longer exists. Pour into them, ask them good questions about their lives. Investing in another human pulls you out of yourself and helps you love yourself better.

Practicing Gratitude:

"Everything sucks and no one likes me." Unfortunately, these words have come out of my mouth plenty of times. Now, I try to sit down at least once a week and write out a list of what I'm grateful for. I don't put a limit, but I try to get to at least ten things. Even if they are simple, like "I'm grateful I can drive myself to work every day," or if they seem silly, like "I'm grateful Lovesick came onto my iPod this morning," write them down and remember the gratitude. Sit with these things, and really allow yourself to be thankful. This can help us force perspective, and can help us focus on what we do have instead of what we think we do not.

So the next time you're feeling lonely or unwanted or unvalued, I challenge you (and myself) to try to remember to step outside of yourself and do one of these things. 

BONUS POINTS if you engage in some mission with other people and then are grateful for it later.

P.S. Tried stuff like this and nothing seems to help? Don't hide and don't be ashamed. There's a difference between occasionally being down and lonely and being depressed. Check out this website to find a Catholic therapist near you. Remember, no matter what, you are loved, you are important, and it is okay to need a little help.

#TecumsehTuesday: Highs and Lows

It has become and informal tradition to begin nightly devotions with Highs and Lows. And oh gosh, how I love highs and lows.

I think it's a pretty common thing, but basically you go around the circle and everyone shares their high and low moment from the day. I add the rule that you have to say your low first because we have to end on a positive note. Sometimes, you can throw in a "God Moment" from the week too.

I love highs and lows because it gets kids to open up. They start talking about things that might seem insignificant, they loved pool time and hated all the mosquitos, but it forces them to look back on their day and find moments that stick out to them.

As a counselor, highs and lows gave me a different insight to my kids and the opportunity to see what is really going on. They loved pool time because they were jumping off the high dive for the first time - this shows me that the kid likes adventure and the opportunity to challenge herself. If we really pay attention during highs and lows, we can intentionally help kids experience similar moments throughout the week to enhance their experience and help them avoid the deeper things they don't like.

Highs and lows remind me of the Examen Prayer. We live in a society that is always pushing forward and never stops, so by practicing highs and lows at camp, we are giving kids the tools for self-awareness. And once you really know yourself you can begin to really dive deep into our relationship with Christ.

So today, I am grateful for highs and lows because they gave me the basic skills to really start to know myself. It's a good practice to have in your daily life to know yourself, and to stay connected with your friends.

Here are my highs & lows from yesterday. What were yours?

Low: Not waking up in time to eat/make breakfast

High: Site visit for the New Evangelization Summit with Christine and finishing the Matched Trilogy

Note to Self: You'll never be satisfied.

I want a new purse. More dresses. Cuter shoes. A bigger apartment. A new car. More friends. A better job. To make more money. To be successful.

At camp, we do this skit where the main character feels really empty inside, and so they start trying to fill themselves up with all this stuff. They go on a crazy shopping spree, make the team, and even get a new boyfriend/girlfriend. But they still feel empty. As they confide this information to a friend, the friend introduces them to Jesus. And suddenly, that hole in their heart is filled.

I think this story can ring true in a lot of different ways. It is the undertone to my story of reencountering Christ, and I think all of us deal with this to some extent.

Right now, this struggle is manifesting itself in the form of location. Whenever I travel somewhere new, whether that's a new area in Denver or a different city, I say to myself, "gosh, I could live here!" I have a restless heart that wants to explore and travel and live in the trendiest areas of the trendiest cities.

This happened again last weekend. Friday, I was walking through The Highlands and saw all these apartment buildings with an incredible view of Denver. So I started googling them to see how much rent was (note: $2,000/month for a studio is out.of.control). Saturday, Jess and I were walking around downtown and I started to take note of where the different apartment buildings were.

No matter where I live, something always feels a little out of place. Sometimes I wonder if this is because I moved around so much.

But then it dawned on me. Or, to be more accurate, it smacked me right in the face.

I will never be satisfied with a new house, a new apartment, or a new city.

I will never be satisfied with my roommates, no matter how great they are.

I will never truly be home.

Because this place, this world, is not where I am meant to be.

I am meant for Heaven, for union with Christ.

So the next time I feel myself lusting over that high-rise apartment that faces the I-25 bridge and the beautiful Denver skyline, I will remind myself that no, this apartment will not make my life better. I will turn to Christ in the Eucharist and continue to look forward to the day I will truly be home.

April Goals: Create More

Every week when I make my schedule, I always try to work in time to write. And even when it makes it onto the calendar, it is one of the first things that I am willing to move around. Which usually  means I don't end up doing it.

Do I need to write to successfully do my job and get through life? No. But writing gives me life, it energizes me, it helps me process information, and it allows me to become more self aware. I think these are pretty important things. So in April, one of the main things I want to do is write more. Maybe I won't be writing publishable things, but I want to dedicate time each week to sit down and write.

I have also really enjoyed playing my ukulele. I'm still pretty bad, but that's what practice is for, right? Playing the ukulele gives me a chance to sing, and puts creating music back in my life.

As I was reflecting on these things, I realized I just miss time to create. So with that in mind, I set 3 Goals for April to help me create:

1. Play the ukulele three times a week for a half an hour.
   
2. Sit down two times a week for at least an hour and write.
   
3. Create something beautiful once a week. An image for this blog. A song. A craft for my wall. A card for a friend. A friendship bracelet. Just something.

Here's to investing in myself, my spiritual gifts, and hobbies that give me life.