Moving On & Identity

SEEK2015 is over. I'm sitting at my kitchen table, drinking coffee, with Penny & Sparrow playing in the background thinking about how strange that is. Every waking second for the past four months have been consumed by this conference. This past year has been spent pouring over preparations to make this conference for 10,000 a reality. And now it's all over.

Sure, there are bills to pay, wrap up meetings to have, and summary reports to write. But for the the vast majority of the world, it's over. On to the next thing, right? Now it's time to pour into NST and into SLS and wrap my mind around the next big event FOCUS will be hosting.

That's what I thought the plan was.

Instead, I will be packing up all of my things and moving away from Denver and away from FOCUS to a fresh start in a few days. I'm terribly overwhelmed, excited, and sad. These people I've had the incredible honor of working with these past 1.5 years have shaped me so much. I look up to them in their faith and in their professionalism, and I hope to be like them one day.

Though it is hard and though I am sad, I am at peace. Jesus' hand is upon my shoulder, mourning FOCUS with me, but turning my head towards the Chicago skyline as we take this next step in the journey together.

What is scariest for me is what the answer to that daunting question of "who are you?" will be now that FOCUS Events is in my past. I remember a moment at the very beginning of the second semester of my senior year of college when I first confronted this question. I was stumped. For the past 3 years when someone asked me who I was, I was able to list a paragraph of positions and titles that made me important on campus: Panhellenic President, VP Greek Programming, Director of Special Events, etc. When I was a second semester senior, I no longer held those positions, and I didn't know how to define myself anymore. I was asked the question, "who are you," and I didn't know how to respond.

Now here I am, three years later, when my defining role is gone again and I am left with just me and Jesus. I don't know how I will respond when the question is asked. I thought it would terrify me. Instead, the future is exciting.

On the plane to Nashville, Holly & I sat by Sr. Amata of the Servidora's.  Out of no where she started talking about how when we work in the Church, we have a higher risk of attaching our consolation and identity to our work instead of simply attaching it to Jesus. She said that when people leave their work in the Church, they are uncomfortable for a bit as they stretch and learn how to just be with Jesus, but God usually calls them out so they can learn in a deeper way that their identity lies solely in Christ.

That's what I want for myself. Identity has always been my core issue, as it is for so many. For years after my conversion, I pretended that I no longer struggled with attaching my identity to what I do and the titles I wore. But as I walk away from FOCUS, I know it is still my biggest struggle. So as Jesus and I drive the 1,111 miles to Chicago, I pray that He can begin to chip away at who I think I am and replace that idea with who He wants me to be.

So pray for me as I move to the city, and pray for me as I wrap up this chapter of life in Denver. Though I do not know what the future holds, I know it is bright, because I will face it with Jesus.

7QTs on Anything Other than SEEK2015

--one--

I titled my first #7QTs post after SLS14 like this, and I like it, so I'm doing it again. Like last year, I get one quick take on SEEK. It's over and that's crazy. I don't know how to handle it. The team got back late Tuesday night, and I've taken the past two days off. It's actually be great relaxing and gearing back up to launch into real life.

--two--

JP is moving to LA to get married this weekend, so we're having a big team dinner and party tonight to say goodbye. I've had the privilege of working with JP very closely on AV, sponsorships, and production these past few months. He's a great guy and I'm going to miss staying at the office really late at night watching movies in the background with him.

--three--

So, I have some news. I have a new job and I'm moving to Chicago a week from today! I don't think I've had much time to process this information until yesterday. I do not have a place to live, but I'm headed there very soon!

--four--

Verily Magazine has a great article about how to move to a new city, so I have officially made a "goodbye Colorado" bucket list. I've gotten calendar time with almost everyone I want to see, so now I just need to add calendar time to visit those few last place I want to say goodbye to. Also, I really, really want to go skiing before I move. I've lived here for a year and a half and I still haven't been skiing or snow boarding. I think I need to take care of that before going to the mountains become a long trip.

--five--

I arrived home on Tuesday night to many Christmas Cards, so that was pretty fun! Thanks to everyone who sent me a card.

--six--

Have you guys started playing Trivia Crack? My sister and brother got me hooked while I was home for Christmas. I can't stop playing.

--seven--

My teammate from Nebraska, Steph, is getting married in four months! I'm super pumped. However, I have to order my dress soon (like today), and I can't decide between these two...any thoughts on which one!? The left is the Poplin Dress and the right is the Marilyn Dress!

Head back over to This Ain't The Lyceum for more quick takes!

7QTs on #whatmovesyou

--one--

Let's start with a question...What Moves You? What gets you up in the morning? Why do you do every little thing that you do? No, I don't want the answer that you know you're supposed to give, I want to know what really moves you?

It's time to engage that question, to go deeper than the simple, easy answers. Come explore with us; register at www.seek2015.com. Join the conversation: #WhatMovesYou.

--two--

I've watched this video a lot of times in the past couple of days and I've really started to engage the question myself. Sure, I know the answer. Jesus. He's the answer to every question, right? But...is He really what moves me? Is He truly the guiding force of my every action at every day?

My friend Mary writes for Catholic News Agency, and she wrote an awesome blog post about SEEK, Socrates, & Beyonce. You should check it out, and start asking yourself that question. (And if you don't know #WhatMovesYou, join us for SEEK!)

--three--

I've been praying a lot about living simply and living in the moment. On the Feast of the Assumption, I went up into the mountains with (a different) Mary & Steph to go stand up paddle boarding. It was so much fun and so incredibly beautiful. As we were paddling, Mary said, "Isn't it awesome that God's will for us today is to stand up paddle board and soak up the beauty of nature?" That is living in the moment, my friends.

--four--

Last week, FOCUS Events was so #blessed to be able to help out with the Amazing Parish Conference. It was an intensive two day workshop for parish leadership teams to help their parishes become truly, well, AMAZING! It was cool stepping into another event with the goal of making disciples, but for a different audience. I think this Amazing Parish movement is really important. I'm excited to see how they grow in the next few years, and how Amazing our Church can become.

image via.

--five--

Christine and John Paul asked me if I would be interested in helping with production (aka Audio Visual things) for the conference. While I basically had no idea what I was doing, I had so much fun. I got to run microphones to people asking questions in the audience, move chairs and podiums on stage and then off again, and help Matt Maher sound check. 

But the BEST part was getting to call camera's for the Thursday morning Mass. I was terrified that I would mess up, but I think it went pretty well. It was cool knowing that what everyone was seeing up on the big IMEG screens was there because I put it there! Our AV team (JP, me, 2 PSAV guys, & 3 video guys) was the reason every went so smoothly. Everyone was so much fun, especially when we told lame jokes over our headsets. 

--six--

Recently, we've been talking a lot about how important it is to spend time with the people we work with and invest in our teams so that we have trust and a good working environment. I am so #blessed that the Events Team gets along so well and we make loving one another a priority. 

On Wednesday, we had a team half day offsite with our #SuperTeam (read: all the departments that my boss' boss oversees) at the Colorado Rockies game. It was crazy hot (read: 91 degrees on the roof of a baseball stadium), but it was crazy fun. It was really fun getting to know everyone a little better and learning about their team dynamics. Take some time to intentionally invest in your team this week - you won't regret it.

--seven--

I have very exciting news, my friends. On Monday, the FOCUS Blog is publishing one of my posts! I'm pretty stinkin' excited.

And let's be honest...it's the main reason I posted some quick takes today. If you're stopping by because you found me via the FOCUS Blog...HI!!! IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU! Leave a comment and introduce yourself! I hope you like cat pictures and FOCUS Conferences, because that's pretty much all I write about.

Here's a cat pic, incase that's your thing.

Everyone else: be sure to check out www.focus.org/blog on Monday to see me in all up on the fancy FOCUS Blog!!

----

Linking up with Jen. Check out more quick takes at conversiondiary.com.

7QTs on 22 States, Moving Day at the Office, and Weird Trollies that I Found on My Desk

--- 1 ---

It has been pretty crazy in the office this week. Lots of new people are starting, and today is moving day! Many departments are moving around and getting new desks. Luckily, Events is staying in our little back corner. I'm looking forward to being neighbors with Formation, staring at Allison, Theresa, & Katie through the far window in our office, and continuing to have yelling conversations with Christine through both our open doors.

--- 2 ---

We are having our very first whole events team lunch today! Well, minus Carol. Our three new teammates are all in Colorado now, so they're coming up for lunch! We're all excited to introduce them to our very favorite mountain Thai food place. Can you say pineapple fried rice?

It'll be just like this, except more Thai & less wings

--- 3 ---

Welp, it has been one week since Jess & Seth's wedding & I'm pretty convinced it's time to have another reunion. Who will volunteer to get married next, just so we can all see each other??

--- 4 ---

This was on my desk today when I got into the office...

What is this mystery trolley!? Where did it come from?? What does it mean!? We may never know. A few months ago I discovered a random green army man on my desk and I still have it. He, the rock, and Mary are happy to welcome the San Francisco trolley to my desk trinkets.

I'm aware that is very sad that my picture frame
(which has been there since March), does not have a picture in it.

--- 5 ---

Remember the state thing I'm trying to do? Great news: as of last Thursday, I had never been to Michigan. And, I guess I went to Alabama a few times as a child, so that brings me to a total of 21 states visited!

--- 6 ---

AND, the goal is even closer than that... tomorrow morning I will be flying to HAWAII for our first whole family vacation in four years. Ten whole days of relaxing and adventuring and being with family and not working. It's going to be so great. 

Also, that's 22 states, meaning I only need to visit 3 more before March. 25-in-25 is going to happen, people.

--- 7 ---

Speaking of vacation, I'm going to take a quick hiatus while I'm with my family next week. I'm looking forward to sleeping in, reading on the beach, biking down a volcano, & just being with my family. I'll be back in Colorado in about a week, so I'll talk to ya'll then.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

When God Shows Up: Steubenville of the Rockies 2014

When God shows up, big things happen.

That is what is so great about conferences; God always shows up. Whether there were glitches or everything went off perfectly, He is there to change lives.

We talk on the FOCUS Events Team about how our job is to remove any natural obstacles that could prevent a student from encountering Jesus. We want to create an environment that allows students to be vulnerable, so that the Holy Spirit can come in and transform their hearts. I am so blessed that I get to work towards that goal every single day in the office, thanks to the generosity of my mission partners.

The meeting planners achieved that goal for close to 3,000 kids this weekend.

This weekend I got to watch my girls fall on their knees and cry and praise Jesus.

I got to listen to their reservations, their struggles, and their hopes for the weekend.

 And then I got to watch Jesus come into their lives and show them how real He is and how deeply He loves them.

Image via Mega Weber.

I got to sit with girls who wanted to know why they are Catholic,

girls who wanted to know who they truly are - not just the 4.0 student, not just the artist, not just the quiet kid, but where their identity lies,

girls who wanted Jesus to come in and heal their hearts,

and girls who wanted to know if He was even real at all.

Best small group evaaaaa.

These kids put big questions in front of God and trusted. And when they did that, He showed up.

And when God shows up, big things happen.

Some of these girls are now considering a call to the Religious Life.

Some of these girls are excited to reenergize their home parish and youth groups.

Some of these girls want to be confirmed to really commit their lives to Jesus.

All these girls want Jesus to be their everything, the center of their lives, and of their hearts.

When God shows up, big things happen.

This weekend I was humbled as I walked alongside these incredible young women. I watched them come alive and exude radiant joy. I was renewed in my call to high school youth ministry and to conference planning. I was grateful for the gift of conferences and retreats that help us get away from the world to connect with Christ.

Thank you Jesus for friendship, vulnerability, and joy. Thank you for hard conversations and open hearts. Thank you for loving us enough to sacrifice yourself on the cross for us.

May we live in our lives in humble gratitude, remembering that you love us enough to show up not just at these big events, but in our every day lives.

Little Happies [2]

In the spirit of practicing gratitude, I am back this week with some little happies!

--one--

It's Holy Week, so obviously that's a happy! Michelle (my roommate) & I are going to try to get up early every morning to say morning prayer. Lent has been challenging for me, so I'm excited about this opportunity sprint to the finish line this week.

--two--

While it was nice to have a month long break from traveling, I am excited for what the week ahead holds. I'll be hitting up Kansas, Missouri, Nebraska, Tennessee, and Florida. I love the anticipation of seeing old teammates and students, fellow missionary friends, and spending a lot of time with my team. Hopefully I will return refreshed from Easter and even more excited for SEEK and NST!

--three--

Last week I read an entire trilogy in a few days. Whoops. Matched had beed on my list for awhile now, so I was really excited when I got the email that it was finally available for download onto my Kindle.

image via.

It was an easy read, but I wasn't the biggest fan of the main character Cassia. Probably because I would have picked her to be with a different guy, but whatever. It also really reminded me of the Delirium series.

What I did love was the love of words and poetry the characters have, how the author explored the different types of love, and how she showed that even the revolutions against oppressive systems can be corrupt. It was fun reading the books and escaping into the world of The Society for a bit. 

--four--

Speaking of reading, Megan & I have quasi started a long distance book club. It's really informal, we read a book and then text about it, but it has been really fun. I highly recommend it as a way to stay in touch with a friend and to keep yourself accountable to reading. BONUS: I get to see Megan this week since she lives in KC. 

--five--

I have been about to burst at the seems with passion for youth ministry these past two weeks. So I took sometime this weekend to pray specifically for my girls and set some goals for the summer. I am excited to talk with Megan about making some of these dreams a reality. 

Look at how much fun youth ministry (camp) is!!!

For more happies, check out Blessed to Be!

7QTs on Carol ditching us for Illinois

--- 1 ---

Today is officially the worst day ever. Carol packed up her car and headed back to Illinois to move home. It's not like she is really ditching us. She will still be working for FOCUS, just in a remote fashion. And I mean, moving home to prepare for your wedding and live close to your finance is a legitimate reason to move home. Still, I will miss this girl like crazy.

Carol was my first Events Team friend and my first Colorado friend. She is hilarious, extremely talented at Event Planning, and she is an incredible listener. I am so incredibly grateful to have walked with her these past seven months. She challenged me to grow in my relationships with Christ and others, and helped me develop my skills as an event planner. Only 24 days until I see her again for a whole week!

--- 2 ---

Since it was #CarolsLastWeek, we obviously had to celebrate. And man, does our team know how to celebrate. We started by leaving work a little early on Monday for a COLORADO ADVENTURE. We started with a hike up Elk Meadows, and ended with Mountain Pizza at Beau Joes and Colorado draft beers. We're really fun.

#TeamSelfie

Christina loves hikes.

--- 3 ---

Thursday was the worst, because it was her actual last day. Christina and I decked out the office.

I brought in the team favorite Reese's Bar's & Christina brought in carrots (because Carol's a weirdo and loves them) and the most amazing veggie dip I've ever eaten. After work, we toasted Carol with some wine and the team said their goodbyes.

--- 4 ---

Carol and I went with some friends to The Yard House for a last hoorah. Oh my gosh, they have approximately 1 million beers on tap and they are all amazing. So is the food. This was the best decision ever. After, I went back to Carol's apartment and watch Jimmy Fallon Hashtag videos with Hannah while Carol finished packing. As I said goodbye waaaaaay too late in the evening, Carol told me to pretend this was a normal goodbye and that I wasn't allowed to go cry in my car after I left.

--- 5 ---

This is how we're dealing with Carol being gone:

CAROL ON A STICK.

Also, we're going to drink wine after work to drown our sorrows.

--- 6 ---

In other news, my family has a March Madness bracket and I'm winning? What? I don't get it. I made my picks on the phone with my mom while shopping for earrings and I haven't watched one game...

--- 7 ---

The upside to this week: RYAN WAS IN TOWN! Kyle (Ryan) was a missionary at Drake my senior year and we've been friends ever since. He is now changing the world by growing closer to God at seminary, and will probably be a priest. Pretty much, the future of our Church is in his hands. Which is kind of a scary thing (just kidding, Ryan is really great).

I saw him for dinner Friday night, at Miles' first birthday party on Saturday afternoon, and then all day Tuesday when I spent the day in Fort Collins. Tuesday was so much fun catching up with Dana, Derek, Ryan, & Miles. We reminisced about FOCUS, Drake, and The Office. We laughed a lot, drank a lot of beers, and just had a grand old time together.

In the light of Carol leaving, I am so grateful for all the friends God has blessed me with over the course of my life. To all of you near, and far, thank you for the blessing you have been to me!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

7QTs on Camping, Reading, and Spontaneous Piercings

--- 1 ---

Tomorrow, I will have been back in Colorado for a whole week for the first time in what feels like forever. And I'm not leaving the state until April 17. A whole month of stability. I forgot what this feels like. I'm not quite sure what to do with myself now that I'm not traveling. Maybe I can finally get unpacked from all these travels and moving.

--- 2 ---

On Tuesday, Carol & I were spontaneous. Well, as spontaneous as you can be when you sent an outlook calendar invite the day before. We told Christina of our adventures the next day & she sent out this email to our team:

"Let's play two truths and a lie...

1. Michelle got her eyebrow pierced.

2. Michelle got her ear's triple pierced.

3. Carol got her cartilage pierced."

Christine guessed #2 was the lie, Zach tweeted "THIS IS TOO HARD," and Brenda guessed that someone actually got a giant tattoo. Any guesses?!

--- 3 ---

My team is about to start reading this book and I cannot wait.

I'm also really scared of it. I feel like it is going to kick me in the pants, nonstop. When we read 7 Habits of a Highly Effective Person, it transformed the way we plan our weeks and interact with our work. I'm interested to see how this next book will change the way we interact with each other.

--- 4 ---

I have another cross-country adventure coming up in a month. Part of being an event planner means going on site visits. Which I think is just so fun! You get to see the space, meet the staff, and start to visualize what your next event is actually going to look like. So our team is doing two site visits in one week. First we're headed to Nashville to check out the Gaylord Opry. I'm excited to stop visualizing the Hyatt Regency in Dallas and actually learn the names of the ballrooms at the Gaylord! Then we're headed to Ave Maria, Florida with all of the committee heads to rev up for summer training! Site visits with the team are so fun, and I can't wait for SO MUCH QUALITY TIME.

--- 5 ---

Speaking of adventure, I want to go camping so bad right now. Seriously. Hurry up and turn into spring, Colorado so I can sleep outside. For some reason my team has been talking a lot about tents and camping this week, and we recently learned that Christina has never actually been camping. When she was a girl scout, they set up tents with persian rugs. What!? It reminded Carol and me of this:

image via.

--- 6 ---

Answer to two truths and a lie: I did NOT get my eyebrow pierced! I'm mainly confused as to why Christina and Christine thought this would be something that I would do. I'd appreciate the insight. haha.

--- 7 ---

Next week is the saddest week of my entire time on the events team. Carol is moving back to Illinois so she can get married (dumb). I will be protesting this move every step of the way.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

7QTs on #Ashtags, Camp Reunions, and Religious Edu [19]

--- 1 ---

Enjoy this photo of the FOCUS DSC with their Ashes.

#Ashtag
image via.

Did you know #Ashtag was a trending topic in the US on Wednesday? Pretty neat.

--- 2 ---

My new household has community dinners once a week, and at the end of dinner on Sunday night I whipped out my ukulele to show off my new You Are My Sunshine skills. Mainly because there is a two year old who lives upstairs and she would actually appreciate that song. However, she demanded that I learn Wheels on the Bus, and we jammed to that for quite awhile. It was so cute and so fun. I told her mom that I was going to learn lots of kids songs just for her. I can also play Let It Go from Frozen on the ukulele now. So my life is pretty fun.

--- 3 ---

Quite of few Camp Tecumseh people live in Denver, but we all have crazy busy lives and rarely get to see each other. My good friend Murphy was in town for a family vacation, and her arrival sparked a reunion.

We ventured to a new bar that none of us had ever been to for some live bluegrass music. It was so great. I hope these friends can make it a habit to get together more often.

--- 4 ---

My team is so fun. This week, I am grateful for our friendships and jokes and coffee runs in the middle of the day. We have two on site planning visits coming up in April and I am excited to go exploring the venues of our next two events with them.

I would like to say that we were indeed working hard...

 

--- 5 ---

I pulled an all-nighter last night, because I had so much to do. But it's been very productive thus far. I'm feeling good about leaving for NINE WHOLE DAYS (what the heck). However, It is currently 12:21 AM and I am SO JITTERY because COFFEE.

 

--- 6 ---

I WILL BE IN MEXICO AT 2PM CST TODAY. WITH MY MOM AND MY SISTER. This is the best. It has been a long time since we've been on a vacation, and I just can't wait to relax and read a million things and bond with my mom and sister. I am hoping to get the #1 item on my bucket list crossed off...

--- 7 ---

It has recently occurred to me that over the course of the year I have created a year long Salvation History lesson plan for kindergarteners that other people might want to use. So I might be starting on blog series on that resource later this year. Hmmm...

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

My Favorite Moments from SLS14

Gosh, what a whirlwind. From Tuesday, December 31 to Wednesday, January 8 I was living the dream as an event planner. SLS14 was incredible and I can hardly believe it's over. Since arriving home on Wednesday I have rested up and I think I finally know what day it is. 

So many incredible things happened at SLS. It's hard to pick just 10. But here's a quick list of moments I wrote down on the plane.

My 10 Favorite SLS Moments

1. The crux of SLS was what we called "Power Sessions." Students were randomly sorted into small groups and were supposed to teach each other the basic tools for evanglization that they learned earlier that day. It could have fallen a part so easily. So watching the Power Session begin to  actually work on Friday night was awesome. Everyone filed in, got into their groups, and figured out who was going to do what for the rest of the week.

2. Okay, great. They got into their groups...but would they actually teach each other? After all of my things were settled Saturday afternoon, I headed down to Marsalis Hall to see how the Power Sessions were going. I was not prepared for what I was about to walk in on. There in that exhibit hall were 1500 students teaching each other how to share and teach the gospel message with others. I was so overwhelmed. I could feel the grace pumping through the room. I teared up and thanked Jesus for these students who were open to learning how to share His love with others.

Image via John Paul Rudolph.

3. Did you know that Pat Lencioni and Matt Maher are good friends? Well, now you do. During the closing session, Pat was talking about Matt, and Curtis interrupted by saying, "Pope Benedict told me never to name drop." Quite the hilarious moment.

Image via EideCom.

4. Christine, Carol, and I went to see the beginning of Dr. Sri's keynote on Saturday. I was unable to sit in on the opening keynote on Friday night, so this was my first time in the main ballroom with all of our attendees. Steve Pries, our emcee, introduced Dr. Sri and the crowd went crazy! The students were standing and cheering - before he gave his talk! It was cool to be in there for that moment knowing I had helped make that happen in my own small way. Carol, who does our speakers and entertainers, loved that moment a lot.

Image via John Paul Rudolph.

5. John Paul let me listen in on the production com and watch production on Monday night during the keynote. It was crazy and fun to hear them count down the keynote and call different camera shots. 

6. While on com, I got to help our emcee, Steve Pries, and Matt Maher sneak into the audience to do an in-house interview before the keynote. It was so fun and the crowd went crazy. 

7. After Curtis keynote Monday night (a lot of these top moments happened Monday...), we launched SEEK 2015. The student's reactions were so great - one jumped up and yelled, "I'M REGISTERING RIGHT NOW!" Christina verified it over the walkie.

8. We ended SLS with series of short talks on what it means to be a Catholic Leader in the world. Pat Lencioni talked about what it actually means to be successful. He told the room full of students that if he had the choice, he would rather his kids grow up to be FOCUS leaders than anything else. It was pretty powerful.

Image via EideCom.

9. The high of SLS: Adoration/Confession night. I loved adoring Jesus from the balcony Sunday night and realizing just what was happening all around us. The incense, the spot lights, the worship band, the procession - it was all beautiful. I was overwhelmed each time the spots would hit Jesus and I would see students weeping. Walking through the ballrooms there were students being prayed over, a packed confession line was overwhelming. In this moment I felt so grateful to be called to this mission with FOCUS. I am so humbled that Jesus has asked me to bring others to Him through these events.

Image via John Paul Rudolph.  

Image via John Paul Rudolph.

10. As SLS drew to a close, all FOCUS leadership starting say that this event is a game changer for FOCUS. My favorite quote came from Jim, my team director from last year. Jim said,

"We will be talking about what FOCUS was like pre-SLS14 and post-SLS14. FOCUS will never be the same after this weekend."

Thank you to everyone who helped make this event possible!

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