Thursday, February 3, 2011

My Heart in Prayer.

Side note: I was feeling very connected to God and very inspired after my research seminar last Thursday, and I took out my computer. This is what happened. I almost posted it, but then I deleted it off of my blog. I have been unable to write anything good since then. I'm not sure why I'm posting it, but I keep thinking that I should. So here goes nothing.

I’m discovering this intense transformation going on inside of me. Every time I talk about greek life, or about values, or about Jesus, or middle schoolers, or about compassion, I feel a deeper sense of urgency arise within me. I am discovering this intense and deep longing to know the Lord. I knew I felt this, I just never knew my desire to be so deep. 

God, thank you for answering my prayers to instill within me a desire to know you. I ask that now you instill within me the motivation and inspiration to act upon this longing. Show me how to pray. Teach me to talk with you. God, I do not know how to do right. I do not know how to do good. I cannot find these things out without you. I will turn to your teachings in the gospels, but I ask that you guide me. Help me seek the truth.

Lord, I cannot even fathom the plans you have for me, but I ask that you help me stay focused on you. And stay peaceful with the knowledge that you will lead me to holiness and righteousness. Help me to know, deep down to the depths of my being, that without seeking you, my life will be incomplete. That without you, my life will be a complete and utter failure. Help me extend your compassion and your love to all those I meet. Help me to loose my ego, help me to focus solely on you. Let me be teachable. Humble me with your presence, your light, and your love. Help me listen for you in the stillness. Help me find stillness in this crazy, loud world. Help me discern my calling with you. Help me be who you created me to be. Help me accept whatever plans you have for me. Help me to let go of my own longings and desires, and to focus solely on you. You have shown us immeasurable love and immeasurable kindness. I would be truly honored and humbled to be able to extend a fraction of that to others. 

Lord, I don’t know what you want me to “do” with my life. But I do know this: above all else I am called to serve. I am called to serve those in the world who do not know love. To show them who you are through the love you have given me. It is my purpose in life to be an instrument through which your love can shine. God, I ask you to use me as a humble instrument to change the world, one soul at a time.  

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