Thursday, December 22, 2011

today, i want to go on an adventure.

I want to go on an adventure. I don't really know what that means, but I want to do something new. I want to push myself. I want to be doing work that is hard. I want to do work that I love, but secretly hate a little bit because of how hard it is. I want to have to push myself to go further, to go deeper, to keep going. I want to discover new terrains that expand deeply in all directions. I want to hike. To explore. To dream a new dream. To learn what the words family and love and respect and hope and charity and faith mean to other people. I want an experience that makes me learn something I didn't know about myself. I want to live so beautifully and so simply that those who have become accustomed to this first world that we live in would think it was dreadful. 

That kind of simple living is the richest. You have nothing to surround yourself with except for the other humans there in that place. And in that environment you learn to go deeper, to connect with each other and with God on an intimate level. There are no TVs, computers, or cell phones to hide behind. There is only relationship and humanity and the thrill of discovering all of these new things. I want to live so simply that it makes me uneasy, that it makes me quiver inside at who I once was. I want it to uproot what I thought I knew about the world and I want it to deeply change me.

Oh, I've had my adventures. I moved 500 miles away from home, I went off to college, I worked at camp, I visited El Salvador. But I want a full, unguided, unedited immersion that scares me half to death because I have no idea what I'm doing. I want to get out of this suburban bubble and just live. I want to do something important. I want to change someone's life. I want to be deep. I want to encounter new wisdom. I want to be so uncomfortable that I cry out to God asking why he led me to this place, but know the depths of my heart I'll be longing to go back when it's all over.

And when it is over, I want to come back and be so relieved to see the all of the matching houses in a row, to have running water and cell phones, and the internet. But after soaking in the goodness that is the technological world, I want to miss the beautify simplicity and clarity of the life I had. I want to reflect on what has happened, and what has changed, and I want to learn to incorporate the experiences in to my person. I want to be grateful for my experiences. I want to share it with others.

I want to travel. I want to grow. I want to change the world.

I want to go on an adventure. 

I want to live.

No comments:

Post a Comment