Wednesday, June 6, 2012

"Remember that nothing is small in the eyes of God."

Today I am really grateful for the women in my college. We are starting to develop closer friendships and I have really needed their sisterhood.

On Tuesday we had dinner together and laughed a lot about frogs and how they're creeps. Sarah does a great impression of the way frogs would say "hello."

That night we went to Cocomero, Champaign's local froyo shop, to talk about emotional chastity and the dating fast. When we commit to our two years in FOCUS, we are in a really unique postion where we commit to fast from dating for an entire year.

 The fast looks a little different for everyone, especially if someone begins their work in FOCUS already in a relationship, but for me it means a 100% fast from romantic relationships and to discourage romantic feelings. I know this sounds crazy to a lot of people, but this fast is actually a great gift. This is a way for me to truly allow Christ to be my most intimate friend and for me to allow Him to be my first love. It will drive me to be a woman of deep prayer, it will allow me to heal from broken relationships in the past and the world's view of relationship, and it will allow me to grow in emotional maturity. Most importantly, this fast will allow me first view men as my brothers in Christ.

I know that this fast can sound like a lot of rules being put on to us by FOCUS. But really, this fast is completely about freedom. It is an opportunity to grow closer to Christ and to commit myself 100% to my mission. Yes it will be hard, but I think we grow the most when times are hard. 

Today we started to learn about salvation history (we are completing a 24 hour long session class in 9 hours) and then had team time. Since the whole UNL gang won't be here until Friday, my team got the afternoon off. It was nice to be able to catch up on some rest and catch up on work.

This evening we had women's recreation. It was a two hour scavenger hunt running across campus. It was hard. I am not athletically gifted at all and I can't even run for five minutes without feeling like I'm going to pass out, throw up, or just die. It was really hard for me knowing I was the one slowing our group down and keeping us from being quicker. I really struggle with allowing other people to see and know my weaknesses so that made this even harder.

This scavenger hunt allowed me to begin to open up and share this minor weakness with others. I had to accept their offers to slow down and walk with me. It was definitely a pride check and I was not very excited about it for the most part. Despite being constantly winded and feeling really embarrassed, I loved walking with these women and tackling the challenges at each station with them. I am so grateful that they were willing to love and respect me in my weakness and lift me up in it.

Tomorrow, the rest of team UNL comes into town. I'm really excited to meet them and to start our work together.

St. Therese of Lisieux, pray for us!

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