Thoughts on Receptivity

I've been thinking a lot about the difference between being passive and being receptive lately. 

I'm all about feminism - True feminism, that is. None of this "let's turn women into men" stuff. But I love JPII and theology of the body and religious sisters and women like Helen Alvare who all inspire me to fully embrace my feminine genius.

One of the more basic teachings of femininity, from a TOB standpoint, is that the man is giver and the woman is receiver. It's expressed in our sexuality, it is expressed in Adam's call to shamar, and woman's desire to be pursued. 

Yet the bold, assertive part of me shutters a little bit at this teaching. I don't want to be receptive...the connotation I hear equates receptivity with being passive. I get this image of a helpless woman sitting around for a man to come find her and rescue her on his perfect white horse. And oh gosh, that just makes me want to gag a little bit. I think this shutter and gag reflex is a reflection that this idea of passivity is not what it means to be receptive. 

I looked up the definition of passive because, well it can be confusing when we throw around abstract concepts. So, according to my friend dictionary.com, here we go:

Passive:  [pas-iv] adjective

1. Not participating readily or actively; 

2. Influenced, acted upon, or affected by some external force, cause, or agency

The definition of being passive hits my thoughts right on the head - this implies that we simply sit and do not respond or react to God or others acting upon us in this life. And God does not want this for us at all! He wants us to actively participate in our lives. That is why he gave us free will. If we sit and react (or worse, don't react), we are not growing or becoming who God wants us to be. 

Receptivity, on the other hand, is so opposite of this. There are similarities between the two, sure. But the difference is that receptivity is all about action. Sometimes this action is more subtle and interior, other times this action is big and bold. 

When I think of subtle and interior receptivity, I think of Mary pondering things in her heart. She did not passively allow things to happen to her. She received each moment and thing that her son said to her with grace, and she spent time thinking about it from there. 

About two months ago I went on a retreat with the Apostles of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. One of the mornings, we ate breakfast with some of the elderly sisters. One of the old nuns sitting by me kept asking me the same questions and telling me the same story over and over again. The receptive response to this sister was to stay engaged with her, actively listen to what she was saying, and to respond with equal enthusiasm. This type of receptivity shows a deep love for the other, as we put ourselves second and respond graciously to their needs and desire to be known. 

When I think of being actively receptive, I think of the Sisters of Life in New York City, receiving pregnant women into their homes and providing for their needs. I think of my teammate from UNL, Martha, and how she cares for and loves on people with her popcorn and good questions about their lives. 

St. Therese of Lisieux received a call from The Lord to be a religious sister at a very young age. She was deeply convicted of this and knew she wanted to give her whole life to Jesus. Yet, she was too young to enter the convent. So instead of sitting around and waiting (which would have been acceptable in this situation), she took what she had received from God and asked her bishop to make an exception so she could enter Carmel in her young age. Mother Teresa of Calcutta did the same when starting the Missionaries of Charity. She had to push and actively work to get permission to get her new religious order started. Without this perseverance and active response to God, these two holy women might not have had the effect on the spirituality of so many people.

The more I ponder the idea of being receptive, the more I realize that that is the kind of woman I want to be. I want to be present to the lives of others. I want to actively listen and show that I care. I want to sit with Jesus each day and take in what He wants me to know. I want to make my decisions and movements based on what he reveals to my heart. I want to humble myself to allow space for others to grow. 

Being receptive means acting and making decisions to follow God. So let's be bold. Let's listen to the Lord and ponder what He says to us in our hearts. Let's respond with grace to the people He has put in our lives. Let's love loudly and actively. Let's be receptive to Christ and to the world around us. 

3 Ways St. Therese Can Help You Grow in Holiness

I have a confession to make. I used to really, really, dislike St. Therese of Lisieux. I know, I know, I'm crazy. But I would read her diary and I would just cringe. I hated the idea of being a little soul or a little flower. And it annoyed me even more because, sure, it was easy for St. Therese to say she wanted to be little because she was clearly so much holier than the rest of us.

I also just thought she was weird. She knew that she wanted to be a sister from the age of 3 (I mean, really!?), her family was really holy (all her sisters joined the Carmelites and her parents are on their way to sainthood), and she would dress up as saints when she was little. I just couldn't relate to her.

Her humility and sheer love of God just rubbed me the wrong way because it challenged me. It challenged my pride and my reasons for following God. St. Therese loved Jesus simply because of who He is, not because of what He could do for her.

Now that I understand her "little way" a tiny bit better, here are three ways St. Therese has helped me grow in love of the Lord. Hopefully she can help you too.

1. Interior Freedom. Freedom, and what it really means, has been a big theme in my life lately. St. Therese was one of the most free people who has ever lived. In America, I think we define freedom as being able to do or get what I want, when I want it. In reality, freedom is about our ability to choose how to respond what comes to us. St. Therese recognized that she could come to the Father by choosing to accept whatever came into her path with joy. This doesn't mean things will be easy, but it shapes our outlook on each situation that comes to us.

One of my favorite and least favorite stories about St. Therese is about how there was a Sister in the convent who annoyed her. Like, really irritated her to no end. Think about what you do when you encounter someone you don't like. I avoid them as best as I can, and sometimes I can be mean. It's an emotional response that is defensive, and focused on my comfort. But what did St. Therese do? She spent so much time with this Sister that the Sister believed they were best friends. This is what love is, this is what freedom is. St. Therese chose to take the things that annoyed her and accepted them with joy. She chose love and because of that, she grew in her capacity to love this Sister and all others.

2. Being Little. This part of St. Therese's spirituality is gold, but I misunderstood it so much. St. Therese speaks of how she wants to be a saint, but the saints seem so high and lofty and holy compared to her. Since she was so free, she was able to see herself as she was, and found what she was able to offer to the Lord. These were things like chores, being kind to those who annoyed her, and finding Jesus everywhere in her little daily life. She found what she can do and how that can help the world.

"Each small task of everyday life is part of the total harmony of the universe." 

Last week, I was listening to a homily by Fr. Mike Schmitz (The Logic of Love from 9/15/13), and he was talking about how God loves some people more than He loves others. This is very easily misunderstood. (Listen to the podcast if it irks you). St. Therese received a grace of insight from the Lord to help her understand this.

"I realized that if every tiny flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose it's loveliness and there would be no wild flowers to make the meadows gay. It is just the same in the world of souls - which is the garden of Jesus. He has created the great saints who are like the lilies and the roses, but He has also created much lesser saints and they must be content to be the daises or the violets which rejoice His eyes whenever He glances down. Perfection consists in doing His will, in being that which He wants us to be."

I didn't like this teaching because I wanted to be a rose. I have a picture of what holiness looks like, and if my life doesn't match it completely, then clearly that means God doesn't love me and I'm not good enough for His love. St. Therese's little way is the exact opposite of this. She teaches us how to accept the love Jesus has for us. This love will always be enough. A full dixie cup is still full, is it not? That is the way God's love is with us. He allows us to be full to our capacity. We cannot compare ourselves to others because Jesus gives us the exact amount of love that we need. (seriously, listen to Fr. Mike's homily.)

I now see that holiness looks different for different people. Jesus has created a path for me. He has a specific and unique love for me. And this is enough. When I struggle with this, I turn to St. Therese and her grace filled understanding of God's love and my unique capacity to receive it.

3. A Fiery Love of Jesus and His People. This girl was, is, on fire. She understood that Jesus is the source and summit of everything and that only in Him can we find our happiness. As you read her diary you see that all she desires is to be with her Beloved and to make Him happy. She even once wrote that she would go to Hell if it would make God happy, and she would just love Him from there. This passion and surrender to providence teaches me how to love Jesus with my whole heart.

Therese of Lisieux is a saint because she sought Jesus in every part of her life and she strove to love Him with every part of her being. She is an example to us in what choosing love looks like. Though I could not initially relate to her, now her love of Jesus inspires me to love Him as best as I can.

St. Therese of Lisieux, pray for us!

"It all starts here - at the foot of the cross."

Those were Curtis Martin's, the founder of FOCUS, words to us last night as we gathered for our first event as the 2012-2013 staff. We gathered in the chapel, in the presence of the Eucharist, because we cannot do this mission without centering ourselves on Christ.

These first two days were about resting before we hit the ground running on Monday.

They were about recommitting ourselves to Christ so that we may bring Him to others.

They were about making new friends and taking small steps to build intentional community.

 They were about calming our fears and eliminating our anxieties before we begin.

We are separated into thirty-nine small groups, called colleges, of men, women, and married couples. The eight other women in my College of Saint Therese of Lisieux are here to be my small community in the midst of 300+ missionaries. They will be the women I eat with, pray with, and play with. They will challenge me to grow in holiness and shape me as I prepare to set out on this mission. I am excited to run alongside them as we recommit ourselves to Christ each day.

These past two days reminded me of why I said 'yes' to FOCUS and they helped me become energized. I am so pumped for our first classes tomorrow and to hear more the heart of this mission.