7QTs on 38+ Goodbyes in 7 Days

Woof. It has been a whirlwind of a two weeks. I have packed up my entire life, driven it to Kansas, and found place to live in Illinois. More importantly, I have listened to Serial in it's entirety and am obsessed. I cannot wait for season two, or to start listening to This American Life on my new public transportation commute.

But I digress. Since I waited to tell anyone I was moving until I told the Events Team after SEEK, my last week in Colorado was packed back to back saying goodbye to my favorite people and my favorite places. So today I give you 7QTs on 38+ goodbyes in 7 days!

--one--

The day after I got home from SEEK, my housemates and I had our last dinner. It was awesome to sit around the living room with Carolyn, Mary, Jenna, & Matika talking about life and eating Swing Thai - Colorado Bucket List Item!

--two--

Last Thursday, I met up with my favorite Camp Tecumsehites who live in Denver. It has been a huge blessing to have Holly, Arielle, and Molly living in Denver while I was here. We ate at Trattoria Stella's and talked about our lives and our hopes for the futures while drinking delicious wine. Eating here was a Colorado Bucket List Item!

--three--

On Friday, we had an Events Team Send Off. JP is getting married and moving to LA, and I'm moving to Chicago. I love these people fiercely and already miss them so much. When I joined the Events Team, I didn't realize how great of friends these people would become. As I continue to grow in my life, I hope to become more like them in their professionalism and their faith. 

--four--

Saturday was a road trip through Colorado. In the morning I met Shelby in Boulder for brunch. After some great catching up, I made a quick stop at Celestial Seasonings, then drove north to Fort Collins to meet baby Pierce and say goodbye to the Sebastian's. Miles and I are finally best friends, right in time for me to move. Dana was my missionary at Drake and it has been such a blessing having her and Derek so close. They are a beautiful example of a fun and holy family could look like!

--five--

On Sunday I got to hit a few of my favorite Denver spots. It started with Mass at the Cathedral, followed by brunch at Fork and Spoon with Sophie and Lindsay.

Then I got to do some writing at The Book Bar. I ended the night at St. Jude's

The girls in my discipleship group are so sweet - I'm going to miss them so much! It's crazy to see how much they've grown and matured in the last 1.5 years. We read through Luke ch. 4 and Jesus talks about now it is time for him to go to a new place to preach. It was the perfect passage to end my time with these girls on.

After youth group, the leaders went and got a drink. I have a special bond with these people. It has been awesome to work for the same mission alongside them and have some good, old fashioned fun with them. Pray for Megan, Ramon, Alexei, Terri, & the Candler's as they continue to show the teens at St. Jude's Jesus' love.

--six--

Bible Study is on Monday's, so we had a big party this week. These women have shaped my past semester in such a profound way. I seriously don't know how I would have survived without them. It is incredible what God does when a group of people get together with the intention of growing closer to Him. They are going to keep Bible Study going and that just makes my heart so happy!

--seven--

On Tuesday, I got dinner with the newly married Stephens and got to catch up with them. It had been awhile since I'd seen them, so it was cool to see how married life was treating them!

Wednesday was my last day in the office. It was filled with Beau Thai and many bittersweet goodbyes. 

Finally, Mom and Tommy arrived Wednesday night. We rounded out the goodbyes to my friends by grabbing dinner at Beau Jo's Pizza with Steph and Joanna.

The next day we crossed off "appreciate the mountains" and "pray at the Mother Cabrini Shrine" off my bucket list. 

In the end, the only two things I didn't get to do on my Colorado Bucket List were skiing and visiting the 16th Street Mall. I'd say it was a pretty successful week of goodbye's!

For more quick takes, check out This Ain't The Lyceum.

Moving On & Identity

SEEK2015 is over. I'm sitting at my kitchen table, drinking coffee, with Penny & Sparrow playing in the background thinking about how strange that is. Every waking second for the past four months have been consumed by this conference. This past year has been spent pouring over preparations to make this conference for 10,000 a reality. And now it's all over.

Sure, there are bills to pay, wrap up meetings to have, and summary reports to write. But for the the vast majority of the world, it's over. On to the next thing, right? Now it's time to pour into NST and into SLS and wrap my mind around the next big event FOCUS will be hosting.

That's what I thought the plan was.

Instead, I will be packing up all of my things and moving away from Denver and away from FOCUS to a fresh start in a few days. I'm terribly overwhelmed, excited, and sad. These people I've had the incredible honor of working with these past 1.5 years have shaped me so much. I look up to them in their faith and in their professionalism, and I hope to be like them one day.

Though it is hard and though I am sad, I am at peace. Jesus' hand is upon my shoulder, mourning FOCUS with me, but turning my head towards the Chicago skyline as we take this next step in the journey together.

What is scariest for me is what the answer to that daunting question of "who are you?" will be now that FOCUS Events is in my past. I remember a moment at the very beginning of the second semester of my senior year of college when I first confronted this question. I was stumped. For the past 3 years when someone asked me who I was, I was able to list a paragraph of positions and titles that made me important on campus: Panhellenic President, VP Greek Programming, Director of Special Events, etc. When I was a second semester senior, I no longer held those positions, and I didn't know how to define myself anymore. I was asked the question, "who are you," and I didn't know how to respond.

Now here I am, three years later, when my defining role is gone again and I am left with just me and Jesus. I don't know how I will respond when the question is asked. I thought it would terrify me. Instead, the future is exciting.

On the plane to Nashville, Holly & I sat by Sr. Amata of the Servidora's.  Out of no where she started talking about how when we work in the Church, we have a higher risk of attaching our consolation and identity to our work instead of simply attaching it to Jesus. She said that when people leave their work in the Church, they are uncomfortable for a bit as they stretch and learn how to just be with Jesus, but God usually calls them out so they can learn in a deeper way that their identity lies solely in Christ.

That's what I want for myself. Identity has always been my core issue, as it is for so many. For years after my conversion, I pretended that I no longer struggled with attaching my identity to what I do and the titles I wore. But as I walk away from FOCUS, I know it is still my biggest struggle. So as Jesus and I drive the 1,111 miles to Chicago, I pray that He can begin to chip away at who I think I am and replace that idea with who He wants me to be.

So pray for me as I move to the city, and pray for me as I wrap up this chapter of life in Denver. Though I do not know what the future holds, I know it is bright, because I will face it with Jesus.

#7QTs on DG, Travel, & Cats with Instruments

--- 1 ---

My first ever post went up on the FOCUS Blog today! If you haven't yet, head on over there and check it out! It promises a list of fun things to do, wit (according to my friend Joanna), an image of me pieing my friend Amy in the face, and a little kid in a big hat.

Here's a quote from it for your previewing pleasure: "If you focus on making memories with your new friend, not just trying to awkwardly force conversation over a latte, trust and community will spring out of the fun. "

--- 2 ---

I think we've all discovered new blogs to read via the #7QTs link up, but have you ever discovered the blog of someone that you know!? That happened to me last Friday after I linked up with Jen. 

--- 3 ---

Do you live in NYC?? Do you know someone who lives in NYC? Will you happen to be in NYC on October 16? Then you should probably come to REACH | nyc. Or invite your friends to come. Or both!

The Events Team has started helping with FOCUS' REACH prayer breakfasts, and I am so excited. Our first one is about one month away in, you guessed it, NYC! I'm freaking out a little bit because I love New York and not only do I get to go, I get to plan an event there. Dreams really do come true, people. Everyone should also be aware that I might never come back. You've been warned.

--- 4 ---

Last weekend, Saint Louis University held their formal recruitment. My sister is a senior in DG there, and 5 (five!!!) of my former campers went through recruitment at SLU. I've known some of these girls since they were 12 (wut).

#doublesisters

It was fun to talk to Steph all weekend about recruitment, but the best news came on Monday...four of the girls went DG!

Some had been in my cabin, others I taught in show choir, and one was a neighbor and camp friend. 

Smoon had a lot of these girls in her cabin and as CILTs, so she was equally excited to add so many beautiful faces to the CT DG Family. We wanna make shirts. 

ITB, ladies, and welcome aboard!

--- 5 ---

Tomorrow starts my fall stint of travel. On the list is KC (x3), Chicago, Nashville, NYC, and Atlanta! The great news about that is I've never been to Georgia...taking me up to 23 states! We've got two more to go, people. DC might be added to the list, and if it is, I can probably make it up to 24 states. I'd also be traveling every other week for the next two months, which is crazy.

--- 6 ---

My friends Cait, Becky, & Mallory are going to watch Kat while I'm gone this week. They're amazing. But what's even more amazing are these pictures of cats playing instruments that Cait put on the facebook.

AHHHHHHH

--- 7 ---

Hey, if you haven't done this yet, I'd really love it if you hopped on over to the Facebook and liked My Life (In Lists)'s page.

Happy Friday, friends!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

7QTs on #whatmovesyou

--one--

Let's start with a question...What Moves You? What gets you up in the morning? Why do you do every little thing that you do? No, I don't want the answer that you know you're supposed to give, I want to know what really moves you?

It's time to engage that question, to go deeper than the simple, easy answers. Come explore with us; register at www.seek2015.com. Join the conversation: #WhatMovesYou.

--two--

I've watched this video a lot of times in the past couple of days and I've really started to engage the question myself. Sure, I know the answer. Jesus. He's the answer to every question, right? But...is He really what moves me? Is He truly the guiding force of my every action at every day?

My friend Mary writes for Catholic News Agency, and she wrote an awesome blog post about SEEK, Socrates, & Beyonce. You should check it out, and start asking yourself that question. (And if you don't know #WhatMovesYou, join us for SEEK!)

--three--

I've been praying a lot about living simply and living in the moment. On the Feast of the Assumption, I went up into the mountains with (a different) Mary & Steph to go stand up paddle boarding. It was so much fun and so incredibly beautiful. As we were paddling, Mary said, "Isn't it awesome that God's will for us today is to stand up paddle board and soak up the beauty of nature?" That is living in the moment, my friends.

--four--

Last week, FOCUS Events was so #blessed to be able to help out with the Amazing Parish Conference. It was an intensive two day workshop for parish leadership teams to help their parishes become truly, well, AMAZING! It was cool stepping into another event with the goal of making disciples, but for a different audience. I think this Amazing Parish movement is really important. I'm excited to see how they grow in the next few years, and how Amazing our Church can become.

image via.

--five--

Christine and John Paul asked me if I would be interested in helping with production (aka Audio Visual things) for the conference. While I basically had no idea what I was doing, I had so much fun. I got to run microphones to people asking questions in the audience, move chairs and podiums on stage and then off again, and help Matt Maher sound check. 

But the BEST part was getting to call camera's for the Thursday morning Mass. I was terrified that I would mess up, but I think it went pretty well. It was cool knowing that what everyone was seeing up on the big IMEG screens was there because I put it there! Our AV team (JP, me, 2 PSAV guys, & 3 video guys) was the reason every went so smoothly. Everyone was so much fun, especially when we told lame jokes over our headsets. 

--six--

Recently, we've been talking a lot about how important it is to spend time with the people we work with and invest in our teams so that we have trust and a good working environment. I am so #blessed that the Events Team gets along so well and we make loving one another a priority. 

On Wednesday, we had a team half day offsite with our #SuperTeam (read: all the departments that my boss' boss oversees) at the Colorado Rockies game. It was crazy hot (read: 91 degrees on the roof of a baseball stadium), but it was crazy fun. It was really fun getting to know everyone a little better and learning about their team dynamics. Take some time to intentionally invest in your team this week - you won't regret it.

--seven--

I have very exciting news, my friends. On Monday, the FOCUS Blog is publishing one of my posts! I'm pretty stinkin' excited.

And let's be honest...it's the main reason I posted some quick takes today. If you're stopping by because you found me via the FOCUS Blog...HI!!! IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU! Leave a comment and introduce yourself! I hope you like cat pictures and FOCUS Conferences, because that's pretty much all I write about.

Here's a cat pic, incase that's your thing.

Everyone else: be sure to check out www.focus.org/blog on Monday to see me in all up on the fancy FOCUS Blog!!

----

Linking up with Jen. Check out more quick takes at conversiondiary.com.

7QTs on NST because the Event is 8 Days Away & I Can't Think Of Anything Else

--- 1 ---

WHEW this week has been BUSY. And so was last week. We are 8 days away from the leadership heading down to Summer Training, and I'm 15 days away from going there myself. I keep forgetting that an event that I'm planning for July 4 does NOT need to be finalized by the time I leave. So I keep having to tell myself to relax a little.

--- 2 ---

For some reason, I didn't process how busy and crazy we would be the few weeks leading up to NST. I was really mentally prepared for SLS, but not so much this time. Hence the blog slacking and the fact that all I can think about is summer training. Sorry, friends. Bear with me.

--- 3 ---

However, I am getting really excited for NST. I think our team has done a great job of planning, and I'm really excited to see our event managers schedule play out. We have two new teammates (!!!!!!) who will be helping out, and our committee heads are the BOMB. So it's going to be a legit summer.

--- 4 ---

Part of my job has been to plan the weekend events and "random fun" that's been added in throughout the summer. Guys, I can't wait! I'm hoping the staff will really buy into the games and themes to add excitement to their busy, busy days at training. 

--- 5 ---

Sure, I'm excited to see this event come together, but I'm really excited to see my friends. NST is like a big homecoming for all the missionaries. It's a time to step back, reconnect, and get ready for the coming year. Oh, it is challenging as all get out, but I think I have a better mindset going into the event this yet!

--- 6 ---

I fell in love with google docs when I was the Director of Special Events for Delta Gamma, but I think my love affair has grown to a strange level now that I'm an event planner. I have over twenty New Staff Training documents and I may or may not have made google docs for my family to plan our upcoming vacation.

--- 7 ---

I don't know what else to say, so you should check out the newly redone Camp Tecumseh website. It's awesome.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

how to lent.

Guys, lent is 2 days away.

I really like lent. I like that it's penitential. Is that weird? After the buzz and excitement of the holidays, I tend to start being selfish. Everything in my life somehow seems to be about me, so lent is a smack in the face right when I need it. Lent reminds me what my life should be all about: Jesus.

I'm sorry if this post was misleading, because I can't tell you specifically how to do lent. But I can give you some resources that I'll be using for lent:

Well, first, here's a great explanation of lent from a fellow FOCUS missionary:

Love this: "It's about giving up something that's good so you can focus on something even better."

Good advice from a priest (stolen from a friend's fbook status. HEY, KELSEY):

You should choose something that will transform your relationship with Christ and have a lasting impact. If chocolate is something that ties you to this world, give it up, but don't go back to eating it in the same way you did before the fast being tied to having it every time you crave it. If you decide to go to daily Mass, don't let that stop once Lent is over. Choose something that will bring you closer to Christ and make you a different person than before.

Daily Updates:

Like FOCUS on facebook, follow the blog, follow them on twitter, or download the lentsanity app. Some sweet people at FOCUS (no, not me), created this app to provide you with resources to help you grow in your faith this lent. There's even a "meat police" feature on the app to remind you not to eat meat on Friday's. Hilarious.

Original ideas on what to give up:

Check out CatholicVote. They have some creative ideas on what to give up for lent.

When it comes down to it, what you give up for lent is totally up for you. But don't go in half way. If you go all in and allow Jesus to use lent to change you and bring you closer to Him, you're doing lent right.

7QT on my week in KC [18]

--- 1 ---

The main part of my week was a fundraising spree. Four Masses over the weekend, lots of phone calls and appointments, newsletter sending, and relationship building with old and new mission partners. Sharing the mission of FOCUS with new people always energies me, and this weekend was no different. I went from an anxious/nervous wreck to singing on my way home from Mass.

--- 2 ---

Kurt was one of my closest friends after I moved to KC in high school. We were together all the time and always had so much fun. I don't think I've seen or spoken to him since our freshman year of college, so it was a treat to get to meet up with him for breakfast on Tuesday.

Kurt is in his second year of med school, so his life is all about studying right now. Ever since I've known him, he has wanted to be a doctor, so it is cool to see him well on his way to achieving that dream.

--- 3 ---

I love that some friends from other places have moved to KC, because that means I get to see them whenever I come home. Megan is my big in DG, and she is a super great friend. I love that we are still good friends and that I get to see her fairly often.

--- 4 ---

So...this happened...

look at that color and that shark! ah!

I AM SO STINKING EXCITED TO LEARN HOW TO PLAY. I've been watching youtube videos and practicing and learning and it is so so so fun! I am definitely in D1 (zero skills, and pretty excited), and I'm basically as good as this guy. I mean, I can already play You are My Sunshine. Watch out, hollywood, I'm coming for you.

--- 5 ---

There was a very sad moment to my week. My new roomies are allergic to cats, so I had to say goodbye to Kateri for a short while. Megan graciously agreed to watch for until both of the girls with allergies move out this summer.

so glamorous.

Maybe I'll get a plant instead.

--- 6 ---

On Monday I drove up to see Tommy (the older of my two brothers) at KU and took him to lunch. Oh my gosh, he is just living the dream in college. He lives in the honors dorm and was telling me all about the community his floor has built. They hang out together all the time and have these fun games that remind me of camp that they play. It was so weird to see him in college (I can't believe I'm this old), but really neat to see KU from his eyes.

--- 7 ---

In exactly ONE WEEK I will be on my way to MEXICO! My mom called me a little while back and offered to take me along with her and my sister and I am just so excited. It will be nice to relax and spend some quality time with them. This trip ends my whirlwind of a life and I (hopefully) won't be traveling for awhile after this trip. But, this was the perfect way to end all traveling.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

a grateful heart.

This is Jon.

well, and Carol.

Jon has been running the FOCUS twitter, and thanks to his retweet, so many awesome, awesome people read my post last Monday. Thanks to everyone who hopped on over here via FOCUS, and thanks to those of you who are still here! I'm excited you're here, and I'm excited to get to know you better!

I've been feeling so incredibly grateful this past week by the number of people that have viewed my blog. I've gotten encouraging comments and texts and messages thanking me for my vulnerability in my last post.

A good friend of mine from Drake, Erika of All Things E, wrote a great post last week on the Numbers Game in the blog world, and it came at just the right time. I was getting discouraged by my low daily readership, and then BAM, hundreds of y'all stopped by last week. But that's not even the thing that matters.

I'm on the far left & Erika is on the far right!

Erika wisely writes about putting faces to the numbers and recognizing that every click is an actual human person. So, like she did, I pictured what it would have been like to give my blog post as a speech to a room full of that many people. I imagine it would look something like this:

image via EideCom.

Okay, so that picture is the main ballroom from SLS and it is close to 2,500 people...but still. It helps put it in perspective. I also started thinking about how much time it would take me to sit down with every person who stops by and reads and get coffee with them. That's a lot of time. Thanks Erika for your awesome insight on how our worth in blogging should be more about the individuals who read rather than the stats and numbers.

I started writing after my long break because:
1. I wanted to,
2. it kept coming up in prayer, and
3. apparently writing is one of my spiritual gifts. (hollaatchya, Spiritual Gifts Inventory.)

image via.

Having the habit of picturing sharing my posts with a room full of individuals flows into gratitude for this platform to share my heart, gifts, and relationship with Jesus. It reminds me why I'm writing and why I can spend so much time on this hobby.

So to all my fellow bloggers out there, hop on over to All Things E and read Erika's post, and then spend some time in gratitude for your blog...even if only one person reads it each day!

how I learned nothing and everything on my dating fast

What's a dating fast, you ask? It's when a person chooses not to date or have any romantic relationships for a certain period of time. All first year FOCUS missionaries go on a dating fast of some form. 

image via.

My dating fast was the bomb.com. It freed me to worry about nothing besides my students and my relationship with Jesus. I was free to deeply discern my vocation, and I was significantly closer to Jesus when my fast was over than when I started. 

But the real test comes when the dating fast ends. How was I going to live my life now that I was free to date?

I was terrified to go to summer training, hot off the dating fast. I felt like I was going to have to confront my vocation right in the face since pretty much every religious order I was attracted to would be at training, and there were all these holy FOCUS men who were also hot off the fast.

I got to Florida, and SURPRISE! Nothing changed. I continued to pray and unite myself with Jesus each day. Yet I noticed a difference in myself. No longer was every guy I met a potential boyfriend. For the first time, I truly felt like I was able to honor my brothers in Christ as what they were: sons of God striving for holiness. Which helped me to truly be myself at all times. It was pretty cool.

image via.

Fast forward to September when I met someone who I liked and who liked me back. The minute he asked me to open my heart and let my guard down without any commitment or actual dating relationship, I did it. What the heck, Michelle!? I began to allow my heart to run free and my imagination to see a future with this boy. I mean, he told me he liked me, we were just waiting a few weeks to start dating, so no big deal, right? I was excited, my emotions were going crazy, and my heart was full of this boy.

But here's the thing, without Jesus, there is only so much room in your heart. Since all I thought about was this boy, I was rapidly shoving Jesus out of my heart and mind without even realizing it. So imagine my hurt and confusion when we didn't end up dating.

image via.

Sure, there's a lot of things he could have done differently, but I was mainly mad at myself. I literally did everything I learned not to do while on my dating fast. Ugh. 

Unfortunately, getting Jesus back to the center of your heart is a lot harder than kicking Him out. I now had to detach myself from the plans I had made. And since my heart was so closely tied to those plans, it was painful. It was even harder since I was so angry with myself for failing.

image via.

Yet our God is patient and forgiving and loving. He does not love me less because I chose not to listen to Him. He writes straight with crocked lines. He healed my heart and showed me great love despite my failure to love His son correctly.

So now that I've been on a dating fast, grown immensely from it, and epicly failed at living it out, here's what I've learned:

1. God desires to be at the center of my heart, but He won't force His way in. 

2. It is easy to replace God with other things, and extremely hard to put Him back in your heart once you've kicked him out. But the beautiful thing is, even though we've ignored the Lord, He has never left us. All you have to do to put Him back in the center of your life is ask. And then pick yourself up and start living your life with Him.

image via.

3. My worth does not change whether or not I'm date-able to someone. It lies in the fact that I am a beloved daughter of God. And the same goes for men. Their worth does not change based on how date-able they are to me. 

image via.

4. There is an appropriate level of intimacy that can exist between a man and a woman, and it should not be crossed without the proper levels of commitment.

5. What not following the will of God feels like.

6. Don't over spiritualize. Discernment is about action. Don't get me wrong, prayer does need to be in the center of discernment, but we need to act and step outside of ourselves and move. Sometimes, we need to make an educated, prayerful decision and trust that God will bless it or He will intervene. 

7. Jesus wants to love me right where I'm at - even if I mess up. 

If I had to do it over, I would change a lot of things. I would guard my heart better and combat my attachments with greater devotion to Jesus and the Blessed Mother. But now I better understand the right way to love because of the pain I went through. I know that next time I will be better equipped to love rightly with Jesus, and that His love will continue to conquer and transform my heart. Thank you, Jesus for being patient with me, for teaching me how to love, and granting me the gift of self awareness through this time!

February Goals: All about budgeting

When I started thinking about how I can continue to keep living out this More Jesus, Less Stuff mantra in February, the only thing I could think of was money. What the heck, that doesn't even make sense. This month I'm moving, headed to KC to do some fundraising, and working a lot on budgets at work. So maybe that's why all I could think of is money. Or maybe because February has president's day in it and there are presidents on dollars. Who knows.

Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty responsible with my money. I attribute that to my CPA parents and fundraising my salary - holla. But....I'm also super impulsive and as much as I love planning and lists, I am no bueno at it with money and budgeting. 

Ever heard of Dave Ramsey? He's all the rage in FOCUS. Basically, he's all about how to handle your money in a responsible, Christian manner. I pretty much just want to know where I am spending my money. AND, I'm starting to be a responsible adult who sets long term goals instead of just being all whimsey through life, so betting attentive to my money is probably a smart choice. I hope this month will be all about setting foundations for these money habits.

SO HERE ARE THE GOALS.

1. Actually read Dave Ramsey's book. 

2. Read one of my fundraising books before I go home to fundraise.

3. DEAL IN CASH. Like Dave Ramsey says! I think this is the biggest thing that I want to do this month. Hopefully I can post more on this after I read the book.

4. Do a budget analysis. AKA go through my spending the past few months and try to see where I can cut out spending.

5. Set some financial goals. Like a real adult! Emily and I talked about going on a trip sometime soon...but I can't go on a trip if I don't save and plan for it!

So...yeah. Weird that they're all themed. We'll see how this goes. What do you guys do to help you budget and keep track of your expenses?!