Moving On & Identity

SEEK2015 is over. I'm sitting at my kitchen table, drinking coffee, with Penny & Sparrow playing in the background thinking about how strange that is. Every waking second for the past four months have been consumed by this conference. This past year has been spent pouring over preparations to make this conference for 10,000 a reality. And now it's all over.

Sure, there are bills to pay, wrap up meetings to have, and summary reports to write. But for the the vast majority of the world, it's over. On to the next thing, right? Now it's time to pour into NST and into SLS and wrap my mind around the next big event FOCUS will be hosting.

That's what I thought the plan was.

Instead, I will be packing up all of my things and moving away from Denver and away from FOCUS to a fresh start in a few days. I'm terribly overwhelmed, excited, and sad. These people I've had the incredible honor of working with these past 1.5 years have shaped me so much. I look up to them in their faith and in their professionalism, and I hope to be like them one day.

Though it is hard and though I am sad, I am at peace. Jesus' hand is upon my shoulder, mourning FOCUS with me, but turning my head towards the Chicago skyline as we take this next step in the journey together.

What is scariest for me is what the answer to that daunting question of "who are you?" will be now that FOCUS Events is in my past. I remember a moment at the very beginning of the second semester of my senior year of college when I first confronted this question. I was stumped. For the past 3 years when someone asked me who I was, I was able to list a paragraph of positions and titles that made me important on campus: Panhellenic President, VP Greek Programming, Director of Special Events, etc. When I was a second semester senior, I no longer held those positions, and I didn't know how to define myself anymore. I was asked the question, "who are you," and I didn't know how to respond.

Now here I am, three years later, when my defining role is gone again and I am left with just me and Jesus. I don't know how I will respond when the question is asked. I thought it would terrify me. Instead, the future is exciting.

On the plane to Nashville, Holly & I sat by Sr. Amata of the Servidora's.  Out of no where she started talking about how when we work in the Church, we have a higher risk of attaching our consolation and identity to our work instead of simply attaching it to Jesus. She said that when people leave their work in the Church, they are uncomfortable for a bit as they stretch and learn how to just be with Jesus, but God usually calls them out so they can learn in a deeper way that their identity lies solely in Christ.

That's what I want for myself. Identity has always been my core issue, as it is for so many. For years after my conversion, I pretended that I no longer struggled with attaching my identity to what I do and the titles I wore. But as I walk away from FOCUS, I know it is still my biggest struggle. So as Jesus and I drive the 1,111 miles to Chicago, I pray that He can begin to chip away at who I think I am and replace that idea with who He wants me to be.

So pray for me as I move to the city, and pray for me as I wrap up this chapter of life in Denver. Though I do not know what the future holds, I know it is bright, because I will face it with Jesus.

The Farewell Colorado Bucket List

The Task: Visit all my favorite Denver/Colorado spots before I move.

The Challenge: I move on Friday and most of my time will be spent wrapping things up at the office and packing up.

Also, I care more about saying goodbye to people than I do saying goodbye to these places. So I'm sure most, if not all, of these places will not be visited. But I'm up for the challenge!

Farewell Colorado Bucket List

Eat at Trattoria Stella. Best. Restaurant. Ever. It's in an adorable old house and it has the best food ever. If you haven't been here, you need to go now!

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Completed 1/8 with my Camp Tecumseh friends.

Appreciate the Mountains. I'd hypothetically like to do something in the mountains, but I don't really know what I want to do in the mountains...so, I just want to appreciate the mountains before I can no longer see them out my window and on my drive to work every day.

As excited as I am for the the train, it won't look as good as this.

Buy Colorado things on 16th Street Mall. The cheesier, the better.

What even is this thing?
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Go to Celestial Seasonings. Definitely got to stock up on the tea's that they don't sell in stores: AKA the extra caffeinated black team. #caffinefordays

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Completed 1/10.

Pray at the Mother Cabrini Shrine. I've actually only been here once, right after I graduated college. But overlooking the mountains and the city with the Sacred Heart of Jesus seems like a good way to end my time here.

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Drink Coffee, Buy a Book, and Write a little at The Book Bar. I'm obsessed with this little place; it's a coffee shop, bar, restaurant, and bookstore all mixed into one.

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Completed 1/12.

Eat with my team at Beau Thai. Delicious Thai food, but more importantly, this place is filled with memories of my team bonding. I'm hoping we'll grab lunch here on Wednesday...actually I'm going to set us a meeting for this now.

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Get take out from Swing Thai. Mary & I recently discovered this thai place around the corner from us and it is so good!

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Completed 1/7 with my roommates.

Eat Beau Jo's Pizza. I mean, just look at that pizza.

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Go to Mass and pray at Basilica Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception.

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Completed 1/12 with Lindsay and Sophia.

Bonus Item: Go Skiing. This probably will not happen. But, I've never been, and I'd love to go before I move.

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Well, there it is! What else would you visit before you moved away from Denver?

7QTs on Anything Other than SEEK2015

--one--

I titled my first #7QTs post after SLS14 like this, and I like it, so I'm doing it again. Like last year, I get one quick take on SEEK. It's over and that's crazy. I don't know how to handle it. The team got back late Tuesday night, and I've taken the past two days off. It's actually be great relaxing and gearing back up to launch into real life.

--two--

JP is moving to LA to get married this weekend, so we're having a big team dinner and party tonight to say goodbye. I've had the privilege of working with JP very closely on AV, sponsorships, and production these past few months. He's a great guy and I'm going to miss staying at the office really late at night watching movies in the background with him.

--three--

So, I have some news. I have a new job and I'm moving to Chicago a week from today! I don't think I've had much time to process this information until yesterday. I do not have a place to live, but I'm headed there very soon!

--four--

Verily Magazine has a great article about how to move to a new city, so I have officially made a "goodbye Colorado" bucket list. I've gotten calendar time with almost everyone I want to see, so now I just need to add calendar time to visit those few last place I want to say goodbye to. Also, I really, really want to go skiing before I move. I've lived here for a year and a half and I still haven't been skiing or snow boarding. I think I need to take care of that before going to the mountains become a long trip.

--five--

I arrived home on Tuesday night to many Christmas Cards, so that was pretty fun! Thanks to everyone who sent me a card.

--six--

Have you guys started playing Trivia Crack? My sister and brother got me hooked while I was home for Christmas. I can't stop playing.

--seven--

My teammate from Nebraska, Steph, is getting married in four months! I'm super pumped. However, I have to order my dress soon (like today), and I can't decide between these two...any thoughts on which one!? The left is the Poplin Dress and the right is the Marilyn Dress!

Head back over to This Ain't The Lyceum for more quick takes!

four.

ohmygoodness.

My Life (In Lists) turns four today.

What!?

I cannot believe it's been four years since I sat in my room at my parent's house and acted on my long-time desire of starting a blog. What a journey it has been.

I so appreciate all of you who've popped in along the way. For me, this has been a way to process, to learn, and to grow. I hope you've grown and learned along to way too.

I pray that as I continue to grow, this avenue can continue to be a way for me to connect myself and others to the Heart of Christ.

Thanks for coming along for the ride.

7 Quick Whats!?

1. Um, what? #7QTs moved!? Clearly I have been immersed in the SEEK planning world for way to long...but here I am! I'm popping in to say hi today because I've missed you guys, and I've missed writing.


2. I haven't written since October. Which is really weird. Life has been a whirlwind of sleep, work, sleep, work, repeat for the past two months. One of those reasons is because we exceeded our goal of 8,000 attendees...the last time I checked we had about 9,400 people coming to SEEK! Can you believe it!? I definitely cannot. God is so good - none of this happened because of us.


3. In TEN DAYS I will be in Nashville. I don't know how I feel about that! Excited, weird, nervous, hopeful, and like I'm going to throw up. Fun Fact: Jen is one of our main speakers! And I get to run production during her session! It is going to be awesome.


4. One of the strangest things about this job is the timing. I'm headed home for Christmas tomorrow, but I will pretty much be working straight through SEEK. Today I'm grateful that my family is understanding of the demands of this job and that my boss lets us work remotely.


5. My brother is coming to SEEK, so that's cool. It's strange to think how significant of a part of my life planning events is, but no one in my family has ever attended one I've planned. So I'm excited for him to see what I do, but I'm more excited for him and all other 9,399 people to experience the conference.


6. I would like to shoutout to Emily, Carley, Steph, & Carol for being really good friends this week. I love you guys. Additional shoutout to Murph who I get to see in the AM for brunch.


7. I picked up this book at the store on Sunday. Because I'm, well, Crazy Busy, I have only read the first chapter. And I already recommend it. I think it's going to be just what I need.

Hop on over to, um, This Ain't The Lyceum, for more quick takes!

The Quickest #7QTs That You Ever Did See!

--- 1 ---

I'm sick today. Like full out fever, cold when it's hot outside, and needing to stay in bed all day.

Expect, being sick when you're an extrovert is the actual worst. If you want to come play, I won't be opposed.

--- 2 ---

Since I'm sick, this will be the quickest quick takes...that you ever did see!

Yes, this is a child's song from camp. Yes, it is in my head. And, no, it is not fun while being sick.

--- 3 ---

Last week I got to run around NYC and pretend like I lived there. It was awesome. Shout out to team NYC & Columbia for generously letting me stay with them!

After REACH | nyc was over, I stayed a few days to play. The missionaries were very busy Friday, so I took the day to sleep in and explore. I'd never been to the NY Public Library, so I spent most of my day there wandering the halls and rooms and exhibits. It was great.

--- 4 ---

While I was in NY, I got asked for directions 5 different times. Apparently, I looked like a local. For the longest time I've wanted to move to NYC, but after being there for a week, I don't know anymore. I missed nature too much. I think Colorado has spoiled me.

--- 5 ---

My dream came true when I got to see Idina Menzel and Anthony Rapp in If/Then.

This show was incredible: it follows Idina's character's life after she makes a decision and shows you the way her life would have been different based upon which simple decision she made. I loved every second of it.

--- 6 ---

During my alone day, I went and saw Matilda. It was so. good. Think big production musical with amazing singing and dancing and technical work, then add ridiculously talented children.

I've been listening to the soundtrack on repeat for the past week.

--- 7 ---

Today is Carol's birthday. Happy birthday, Carol!!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Deeper Conversations: How to Connect with Others (New Post on the FOCUS Blog)

Heyyo!

I've written another post up on the FOCUS Blog today.

It's about how to really talk to others, and a little bit on why we want to be known and loved.

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I'd just love it if you went it checked it out.

Peace!